Yours&MineEqualsOurs

Happy Birthday Rachel

2011-09-12T09:02:00.002-06:00

It is truly amazing how fast a decade can go. Ten years ago this morning my sweet Rachel Linda Rice joined our family. She arrived to a very chaotic world - the day after the devastating 9-11 attacks on our country. I think her little soul must have been in turmoil too and in a great hurry to get to this earth because she came almost 4 weeks early. She made a grand entrance by trying to come out one foot first and then having a cord prolapse. She arrived via an emergency c-section - the fastest one on record for the hospital at that date. She spent a week in the NICU learning how to suck, swallow, and breathe at the same time. She also had chemical pneumonia from inhaling amniotic fluid during her traumatic birth. She was 6#7oz and 18 inches long - not to big and she has remained tiny at her 10 year well check she finally made it to 50# and is 491/2 inches tall. She still doesn't make it on the growth chart but is following her own little pattern. She she doesn't have in size she makes up for in heart - Rachel truly is one of the sweetest little girls I have ever known. She has loved animals I think since the day she was born and plans on being a veterinarian when she grows up. She is kind to everyone and doesn't have just one set of friends - her teachers have always complimented her on the fact that she will play with everyone. I think Kerri is her very best friend and I hope it stays that way forever and ever. I love this little girl very much and am so glad that she is my daughter - I feel honored to be her mother and hope she always knows how very much she is loved- love you Rachel Linda Rice!!

Cute Hair for a New School Year

2011-08-24T14:15:00.004-06:00

This week we went to Evans hair school (because Ashley is a student there) to have hair do's for school. Cassidy has been dying to get her hair dyed! So she got a cute color and new style - she looks so amazing and so grown up - people keep telling her she looks like me and I take it as a compliment! Ammon also got his hair colored - it was a good trade off because he was willing to get a nice cut and style - he looks so handsome- Can you believe he is almost as tall as me? Rachel got small trim - she loves having long hair - and a feather extension. She is thinking she would like a perm too so we might just go back next week. Kerri got the cutest little perm you ever saw - I love it!

Learning to be Grateful

2011-08-12T10:24:00.001-06:00

I am constantly amazed at the difficulties that we are asked to pass through. I see it everyday in my role as a nurse. So many people suffer things everyday. I have been blessed (or cursed) with a soft heart and I have a tendency to get attached to my patients. I have become friends with many of them and some I was friends with before they became my patient. Last week I had an experience I will never forget - although I wish I could. A good friend of mine (who also happens to be my patient) came into the office last week for a routine 34 week OB check. Up till then everything had been very good. At this appointment we discovered that her baby had passed away sometime the week before. I knew that when I became a nurse I would see sad things - I knew that I would have to be professional about it. I couldn't help but cry - in fact I excused myself for a few moments to try and gain some composure so that I might be some help to them. This person has such amazing faith and is dealing with this sad situation so well. She may not like Heavenly Fathers plan but she is accepting it. I have another patient whom I did not know before I came to work here. I have a soft spot for sweet little old men and they get wrapped into my heart pretty easily. This guy is kind of gruff and not always soft spoken. He can be pretty mean if you take what he says to heart. But its all surface - underneath he is just a big sweetheart and gives me a hug whenever he comes in- which won't be too often now - he is dying. I will miss him and its sad to see his family suffer with him until his time comes. I have another patient who had a baby a few months ago and would sometimes seem sad when she came into the office. A few weeks ago she came in for her 6 week check and at some point in the visit she broke down and admitted that her husband had cheated on her several times during her pregnancy. I was asked to visit with her and help in anyway I could - she was heartbroken and felt sure that she wasn't good enough and never would be. My heart broke for her. I have another paitent who in the space of a year lost two babies at around 22 weeks. She then adopted a sweet little girl and is expecting another son in about a month. She gets a sister for her little girl anyday now. We have sorrowed with her and also shared in her joy as God's plan isn't always a trial to endure. We have a sweet sweet little boy who is about 2 years old but the size of most 5 year olds. He loves me! He runs to me with open arms and I love him. We have a sweet little old lady who cusses up a storm and thinks nothing of calling me a "dumbass" and in the same sentence tells me how much she loves me and how glad she is that I am here. She probably won't be around much longer and the world will be a sadder place without her. When my friends baby died last week there was nothing I could do or say that would fix it but I sat by her as her husband held her while she cried and I think this is what it means when we promise to help carry each others burdens. We can't take them - we can't fix it for them - but we can be there and listen. I love my job - on so many levels. I love my patients, so many of them have changed my life for the better and make me want to be a better person and rise to their expectations. I love what I learn here - I am learning to be grateful for my trials, and if I can't be grateful quite yet to at least be willing to accept what might just be God's will for my life and be grateful for the trials that I don't have.

Pictures!

2011-08-11T08:55:00.007-06:00

Sunday was a great day!

2011-08-09T09:10:00.002-06:00

Almost 13 years ago I was working on reading the Book of Mormon for the first time by myself. I had read it with my family, in seminary, and of course at church but I had never taken the time to read it all the way through from cover to cover all by myself. My husband and I and our little daughter of about 7 months were living in Layton Utah and I was working with my wonderful bishop to get to the temple. He was helping me work through some things and had made the suggestion to read the scriptures daily. It was fun to mark my progress on my little chart each day and I was amazed as I read the stories I had heard my whole life and realize somehow for the first time that they really were real people - not just stories but journal entires - little peaks into the lives of an ancient people. I fell in love with this book (and it gets worse all the time!) As I read the story of Alma the younger and his friends Ammon, Aaron, Himni, and Omner - it seemed to call to me and assure me that I was not the only one who had made mistakes. I loved the story of thier sincere conversion and their desire to make right what had once been wrong. I loved how towards the end of the story they are describing Captain Moroni and it says that if all men were like him then satan would have no power - and then it says that he was a man likeunto Ammon - I love that.
Anyway - so I was going about minding my own business - happy for the most part with were I was at. I began having spiritual promptings that I had a strong spirit who wanted to join our family. I felt very strongly that his name was to be Ammon and he was ready. I almost laughed to myself and thought - but I already have a baby. We didn't think we were ready for another one - yet. But the same thought came a couple or times - my son was ready to come to earth - he was a strong spirit who had alot to accomplish and he was ready to get started.
A few weeks later a bout of flu hit our ward. Everyone was sick - but then they got better - and I didn't. I was still sick everyday and so so tired. I was still nursing Cassidy since she was only about 9 months old and I still hadn't had a period since she was born. I finally told Jerry that I either needed to go to the doctor because there was something wrong with me or I was pregnant. The next morning I took a test and there was that little pink line before it even got to the top. Early the next week I went to the doctor and they did an ultrasound since I didn't have any dates to track the due date with. They said I was about 12 weeks along and that I was due July 21st. I knew in my heart that this was my son.
Ammon's pregnancy wasn't a difficult one as far as pregnancies go - I was in a car accident a few weeks after our first appointment and a part of the placenta detached from the wall of the uterus. They were concerned that I would lose him - somehow I knew that I wouldn't - but I had an ultrasound each visit after that. It was fun to see him grow so much between appointments and I was not one bit surprised when they told me we would be having a boy.
We moved from Layton to Sugar City when I was about 37 weeks pregnant and so my doctor decided to induce me so that I wouldn't be making the drive while in labor. Early in the morning of July 12th my little sister Mary and I drove down to Layton. His dad who was working out of town flew in to meet us at the hospital. They started my induction about 8am in and Ammon made his entrance early in the afternoon. With Cassidy I was too afraid of needles to get an epidural but decided to chance it with Ammon. It was amazing! I laughed the whole time I was delivering him. The doctor laughed and said push or laugh its all the same to me. I only had to push through 3 contractions (instead of the 1 1/2 hours with Cass). Ammon was so alert when he was born and so so cute. Even in the delivery room you could see his dimples and the nurses just oohed and awwed over him. They laughed about him being a "real man" when he insisted on being nursed for about 1/2 and hour right then and there. He would just look at you with those big dark eyes - it was already pretty apparent that they would be brown. I thought he looked just like my dad or my brother Charlie. And he was Ammon right from the start. With Cassidy and the other girls after we called them "the baby" for several weeks - "the baby is hungry, the baby is so cute, look how sweet the baby is while she is sleeping" - but with Ammon he was just Ammon from day 1.
At the end of the day after Jerry had left to get some sleep and Mary had fallen asleep on the couch I remember - as if it was just yesterday - late in the night after waking up to nurse him. I was sitting in my hospital bed holding this little man and just admiring him. He was quite awake and looking at me as if he could hear all my thoughts. Again I felt his spirit - so strong. I could almost feel a little frustration on his part of being such a big spirit stuffed in a tiny little body. As I looked at him I could feel his desire to serve a mission and hold the priesthood. I have always always loved the priesthood and been so thankful that our loving Heavenly Father allows His power to be used here on earth. And I could tell that my little son had so so much to do here. I have been waiting (anxiously) for this little boy of mine to be 12 and recieve the priesthood ever since. When he was a little boy (2 & 3) he would ask "how much longer till I'm a grownup?" He has always been such a sweet boy - always with a hug for his momma. I love him so so very much. There is something about his spirit that speaks to mine and although I love having him young and feel like he is growing up way to fast - I am also excited to see what happens as he grows. He is my Ammon - It was so great to see hands laid upon his head and Sunday and the power of the priesthood bestowed upon him. Next week he will pass the sacrament for the first time. I get a little thrill in my heart everytime I see our Hayden passing and it will be great to see Ammon up there in his white shirt and tie. It's always amazing to have a dream come true - thank you Ammon for helping me with mine! I love you!

I promise to add pictures soon!

We love Nashville Tribute Band!

2011-08-08T12:37:00.004-06:00

Our family loves the Nashville Tribute Band. They were back in Rexubrg this week to celebrate their new album The Work which is a tribute to missionaries. If you have never heard of these guys they are a group of LDS Country Singer/Songwriters from Nashville who back in like 2005 got together and put together a Tribute to Joseph the Prophet - it was/is amazing. Since then they have done a tribute to the Pioneers and now to missionaries. Three members of the band are also a up and coming country group called Due West - they are awesome. My kids can all sing most of the songs from the first two CD's by heart - it was such a fun night. They will be back in Rexburg as Due West on the 13th of September and I can't wait to see them again!

Some great quotes I have found lately!

2011-07-13T10:53:00.002-06:00

I'm sure you have all heard the poem about the man walking along the beach with the Lord looking at his life and at some point he notices that there are only one set of footprints during the hardest parts of his life. He asks God why this is and wonders why God would have left him alone when he was struggling the hardest. God answers that there are only one set of footprints not because he has been left along but because these were the times when God carried him.

I have always loved this story. I have known times in my life (like everyone else) when I knew without a doubt that I was being carried. Sometimes these times are easier to see with time - looking back you can see more clearly the help you received. The past few weeks have been some of the hardest in my life. I want to thank those who have prayed and fasted for our family. I have felt my burdens lifted. They are still heavy but I am bearing them. I have also come to realize - through the stories of others (thank you Bryce Holman for your mission story!and many others such as my patients whose lives are amazing) that the impossible can happen and just because we don't understand how it can happen that it will. My favorite scripture is still the one listed on our blog - With God nothing is impossible - it is true and I am relying heavily on that promise.

For those of you who may not know what is going on - just know that divorce -even when necessary- often come back to bite especially when you have kids. I don't think there is a limit on how many prayers you are allowed in your favor so I welcome all prayers that God's will will be done and that I can accept it whatever it may be. The following are some quotes that I have heard recently that give me hope!

Elder Orson F Whitney - "No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude, and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, build up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable...and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil, and tribulation, that we gain the education we came here to acquire"

Elder David A Bednar - "You and I cannot control the intentions or behavior of other people. However we do determine how we will act."

Elder Richard G Scott: "Keep perspective. When you have done all that you can reasonably do, rest the burden in the hands of the Lord and worry no more. The Lord opens doors of opportunity and provides the strength each of us needs at difficult times in our life. He entreats us to love his Son that we may be comforted and strengthened."

Elder Lionel Kendrick - "We cannot always control everything that happens to us in this life, but we can control how we respond. When we place blame for our actions on others or circumstances that we find ourselves in, we can never gain the strength to change."

Author unknown - "God can heal a broken hear, but you have to give Him all the pieces."

Elder Jeffrey R Holland - "Christ is saying to us 'If you will follow me, I will lead you out of darkness..I will give you answers to your prayers. I will give you rest to your souls' My beloved friends, I know of no other way for us to succeed or to be safe amid life's many pitfalls and problems."

Elder David A Bednar - "There is no physical pain, no anguish of soul, no suffering of spirit, no infirmity or weakness that you or I ever experience during our mortal journey that the Savior did not experience first. you and I in a moment of weakness may cry out, 'No one understands. No one knows' But the Son of God perfectly knows and understand, for He felt and bore our burdens before we ever did. And because He paid the ultimate price and bore that burden, He has perfect empathy and can extend to us His arm of mercy in so many phases of our life. He can reach out, touch and succor --literally run to us-- and strengthen us to be more than we could ever be and help us to do that which we could never do through relying only upon our own power."

Elder Dieter F Uchtdorf - "Hope encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving care of an eternal Heavenly Father. Hope is not knowledge but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promise to us. It is believing and expecting that our prayers will be answered. With hope we can have patience, and bear our afflictions. The things we hope in sustain us during our daily walk. They uphold us through trials, temptations, and sorrow."

Elder Joseph R Holland - "I promise you He is not going to turn His back on us now. When He says to the poor in Sprite, 'come unto me' He means He knows the way out and He knows the way up. He knows it because He has walked it. He knows the way because He is the way. He is saying to us, 'Trust me, learn of me, do what I do. I will lead you our of darkness; I will give you answers to your prayers. I will give you rest to your souls.'"

Life these days

2011-06-20T09:37:00.002-06:00

I think life will never cease to amaze me. Let me just say upfront that I think my life is incredible. I love it. I have many many blessings and know that I have much to be thankful for. Fathers Day was great - we had all 5 of Barry's kids with us - which with the way things have gone the last few months to have all of them was truly a miracle to us. We loved it! We made tinfoil dinners for Sunday dinner in honor of Barry and how much he enjoys camping. Hayden and Treyton also invited him on a "date" Friday night for dinner and a movie for just the 3 of them and the boys paid for all of it - so sweet. Savannah and I got up early on Sunday and made breakfast (something Barry usually does) - it was a good time. I hope Barry knows how very very much I appreciate him as the father in our family.
Ok here comes the other side - the life isn't quite perfect side. I have a firm belief that life is not supposed to be easy - that isn't what we came to this earth for. However I can't believe how frustrating it can be sometimes. I have been working at having faith recently. Working on a daily basis to apply the faith that I know my heart has and become willing to have my will be His will. To want what it is that God wants for me in my life and to believe with all my heart that it is the best. I do have a testimony of this. A strong and powerful testimony - so why do I waver? For the past 5-6 years this testimony has grown my leaps and bounds as I have seen the power of trusting God in my life. There have been so many times in my life that it is almost unbelievable how much I have been blessed. There have been times where I have felt like Ammon, Alma, and the other sons of Mosiah when I am "carried away" in the boasting of my Father in Heaven and in His power.
So then my question becomes - why - why do I still struggle with having faith in the Lord's plan. I know that He loves me - I know that He loves my children - even more then I do. I believe, trust, and have faith in that He knows what I need and has the power to create whatever that is in my life. Right now I have truly entrusted my children to His care. Sending them to Texas is so difficult for me. But this year (due to many circumstances beyond my control) it was especially difficult. It is hard when the Spirit directs you to do something that so many others are telling you is a bad idea. I'll be honest there are moments in life where I really haven't liked what the Lord's will was for me. There are times when I question where His plan is leading me. But as I look back over my life I see that no matter how hard - it is always worth it in the end - to follow His lead. So right now I am trying to do that - clinging to that rod of iron with all that I have - praying that the winds and chaffs that Satan sends my way will not blow me off course.
Heavenly Father does answer prayers.
Last weekend when my children were picked up Saturday afternoon to go to Texas was, like I have mentioned, particularly difficult for me. Whenever we stay with Bryan and Romina (Barry's brother) we go to church with them. They attend a spanish ward and so it is sometimes difficult because I can't understand what is being said. That Sunday morning as I knelt by my bed I reminded the Lord that it had been a hard weekend for me and I asked Him to touch my heart that I might be able to understand what was being said and that I would hear a message of comfort. Imagine my wonderful surprise when they announced in Sacrament Meeting that for the first time they had translation capability and they passed out headphones so that we could understand the talks! Wow! Each talk given was wonderful but the last given my a young missionary touched my soul. He talked of being born in Mexico but moving to Layton Utah as a young man. He talked of his long desire to serve a mission. He expressed his surprise, frustration, and disappointment that came with his call to Provo Utah just miles from his home. He talked of the difficulty of not only accepting but embracing God will and being willing to carry that out. He then expressed the that his mission had been in his life. He talked about how it the scriptures we are told that it is not God's plan but man's that is frustrated. I felt his words in my heart as much as I heard them in my ears. I knew the Lord was using him as a mouthpiece to help remind me that - God's will - not My will needs to be done. In my limited human understanding I cannot always know what that is.
This past week has been no less stressful as Satan's winds seem to come from all sides when we are doing our best to follow God's counsel. I have found myself frustrated and hard in my heart. I have come to realize that when I am feeling this way it is much much harder for me to hear the whisperings of the spirit. This Sunday (yesterday) we had stake conference. Once again Sunday morning found me on my knees asking the Lord to soften my heart and send me a message in the messages spoken. The entire meeting was centered on Faith in God. The first talk was given my the 2nd counselor in the stake presidency. It was amazing. I ended up asking him for a copy of his talk and he emailed it to me. I have reread it today. Having faith that the Lord knows our needs - and that sincere faith comes when we continue to have faith even when God's plan is different then our own. I'm not at all sure where this will all lead. Another speaker (can't remember if it was the Stake president or his 1st counselor) said that when we experience trials that are not brought on us by our own sins then it is the Lord's way of strengthening and stretching us for greater blessings and trials. The first talk ended with a quote from Brigham Young which says "God never bestows upon his people, or upon an individual superior blessings without a sever trial to prove them". Thats amazing and scary all at the same time - I want the blessings which means I have to have faith through my trials.

Primary' Children's again

2011-04-09T13:16:00.002-06:00

So Cassidy had her eye surgery yesterday. They called on Thursday and let us know that we didn't have to be to the hospital until 4:15 and the surgery was scheduled to start at 6pm. The plan was to be there for about 1-2 hours after then head back to Bryan and Romina's for a visit. It didn't quite turn out so simple. Apparently Cass has a difficult time keeping her oxygen levels up after anesthesia. She has a similar problem in December but we figured it was more from the chest tubes then the anesthesia - apparently not. Her O2 would drop down into the low 80's and high 70's - not great - every time she dropped off to sleep. So about 11:30 they told us that she would not be going home for the evening. We spent a pretty restless night but we were finally released at around 10:30 this morning and we are all here hanging out with Bryan and Romina. I sure love my Casssidy and sure hope that we are done with surgery for her for a while. Shes a tough one though and has been mostly patient with this whole process.

Lesson's from Primary

2011-03-20T21:07:00.003-06:00

"I belong to the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

I know who I am, I know God's plan I'll follow Him in Faith.

I believe in the Savior, Jesus Christ. I'll honor His name.

I'll do what is right, I'll follow His light. His truth I will proclaim."

One of the kids chose to sing this today in primary as their favorite song. As they were singing the Spirit reminded me that this is true. I do know who I am - I know God's plan. And I want to follow Him in faith. Most of the time I think my faith is pretty strong - but sometimes I really struggle. I'm not always sure what part is mine and what part I should leave to God. I get confused on how to give my burdens to God and yet still do my part. I love the simple messages we get in the primary music. I love being in primary and the messages that my Father in Heaven sends me.

Gratitude Day 8

2011-03-09T10:15:00.002-07:00

Sometimes I am thankful for not really unanswered but prayers that are not answered in the way I thought I wanted.

Just the other night a hometown football game
My wife and I ran into my old high school flame
And as I introduced them the past came back to me
And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be

She was the one that I'd wanted for all times
And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine
And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then
I'd never ask for anything again

CHORUS:
Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreams
And I could tell that time had changed me
Inn her eyes too it seemed
We tried to talk about the old days
There wasn't much we could recall
I guess the Lord knows what he's doin' after all

And as she walked away and I looked at my wife
And then and there I thankedd the good Lord
For the gifts in my life

CHORUS

Some of God's greatest gifts are all too often unanswered...
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

Garth Brook

Gratitude Day 7

2011-03-03T12:48:00.002-07:00

I am grateful for the patients I work with that make me laugh every day. We have some pretty funny patients - some a little strange - and some a little stranger - but seriously I love them. I love my job and a great deal of that is because of the people that I get to meet. Because this area isn't that large and we are a pretty small doctors office we get to know our patients pretty well. I have a avoided blogging about them because of HIPPA and all that crazy stuff but am thinking that if I don't tell names it should be ok. Seriously I have had some pretty funny experiences. We have this one patient who has since moved on to a new doctor since moving into a care facility and I miss her like crazy. I wish I could describe her to you - she used to call 2-3 times per week and it was always always hilarious. She was in in late 60's and I would say she has probably never been completely normal - like she has asbergers or something of that nature. She has a deep southern accent. For the sake of a HIPPA violation lets just call her Jo(obviously not her real name!). Here's a typical phone call from Jo.

Me- "Dr. Hopkin's office - this is Karin - how can I help you?"

Jo - "Hello - my name is Jo and I'm a patient of Dr. Hopkin" - Seriously without fail every time she called no matter how long she had been our patient!

Me -" Well good afternoon Jo - what can I do for you today" -

Jo - "Well you know its been pretty nice the last few days and since I don't have a whole lot of money I decided to walk down to the senior center for lunch. I got there about 10:30 ya know i don't walk real fast so it takes me about 1/2 an hour to walk there. Then I played some games with some of the other folks down there and then lunch was served about noon. We had Shepard's pie - ya know the stuff with beans and mashed potatoes and gravy and cheese on the top? Well we had salad too and some kind of fruit which I didn't eat and dessert. Well I was gettin' kind of tired at this point so I decided that even thought I don't have alot of money that I would take the cart bus home. While I was on the bus the veins in my neck started to hurt a little - now what ingredient in that Sheppard's pie was it that you think might have made the veins in my neck hurt?" - keep in mind that she barely took a breath before she said all of this.

Me - silence - "um - well - actually I don't really know if there is anything in Shepard's pie that would cause that - can you tell me a little more about the pain?"

Jo - "Well - you know - it's just a pain that I feel in my veins - in my neck - haven't you ever felt that way?" - well no!

Me - "Would you like to come in a talk to the Dr. about it?"

Jo- "Well no, it's gone now I was just wonderin' if there was something in that pie that might have caused it. I'll let you know if it happens again. Bye now."

Another Jo call -

Jo - "Hello, My name is Jo and I'm a patient of Dr. Hopkin."

Me - Well hello there Jo - what can I do for this morning?"

Jo- "This morning I walked down to Broulim's to do some shopping and I walked around for quite a while while I as there thinking I could get some exercise while I was out and about. Ya know I don't really have that much money - so I usually only ride the cart bus one way. So I did my shopping and I bought me some tuna fish. Since I don't have a can opener I buy the kind that comes in a bag- have you ever seen that? Well then on my way home I got kind of hungry so I just opened that tuna fish right up and ate it right there on the bus. I had been home about 20 minutes when I started to feel nauseated. - Now do you think I feel that way because I ate that tuna fish with my fingers?"

Jo again -

Jo - "Good mornin' My name is Jo and I'm a patient of Dr. Hopkin - this morning while I was on the bus ridin' to see my physical therapist I was sitting by this young lady. She and I got talkin' and she told me that she was a nurse. And she said that if I would just drink a glass of orange juice every mornin' that I could cure my diabetes - do you think that might be true - ?"

I swear she always sat by some young lady who claimed to be nurse and was always telling her some weird thing - never true things - One day she came in just paranoid that she had tuberculosis. She said someone she knew a long time ago had it and now she just couldn't quite coughing and she was sure she had it. We tested her pretty much to humor her but to our surprise of all the patients to test positive it would have to be Jo. She had her return visit and we scheduled her with the District office in Idaho Falls where all TB patients are sent and called it good. A few days later of course I get a phone call-

Jo - Good Mornin' my name is Jo and I'm a patient of Dr. Hopkin"

Me - How are you today Jo"

Jo - "Well let me tell you. I was ridin' the cart bus this mornin. Ya know it's been real nice the last few days but even though I don't have a whole lot of money I decided I would ride the bus down to the senior center for lunch - well I sat by the real nice young lady. We got to talkin' and since she told me she was a nurse I decided to tell her about my Tuberculosis - well she told me that maybe I tested positive because of how you tested me - do you think I might have tested positive because of the angle with which you used to put that needle into my arm?"

Seriously she was so funny - but she was alway very serious about her questions and you always had to come up with something to tell her.

We have other funny things happen and sometime I might just tell you a little more about them but today I have been thinking about Jo and wondering what she might be up to. I miss her! And I am so glad she helped me find reasons to laugh.

Gratitude Day 6

2011-03-02T08:47:00.002-07:00

I'm not sure how to say this without sounding wrong but I am grateful for the trials of others. Not that I want others to have trials or that I am glad that they do - however often I see the trials of others and I am so grateful that I don't have that same trial and it makes me somehow more grateful for the trials that I do have. Does that make sense? I have often been told that I should be grateful for my trials - because of what you learn from them but it is a hard thing for me. It sometimes takes years for me to be grateful for what I have learned and even then its not as much gratitude for the trial but for the blessings I gained from it. For example I am not really grateful for the trial of having gone through the heartache of a divorce and yet because of that I have Barry and I am so glad that he is in my life. I am so glad that I get to share his life and his children and that he takes care of my children. In my job I see so many who have suffered so much in their life. I meet people everyday who I would never want to trade places with. And it makes me so glad that I have the life I have even with it's difficulties and troubles along the way. I am grateful to a Heavenly Father who knows what we can handle - or at least sends us what we need in order to handle what we are given. I am grateful to know that I have a Father in Heaven who loves me and cares about my life and lifts me through my trials and blesses me far beyond my worthiness to receive.

Gratitude Day 5

2011-02-02T11:14:00.002-07:00

Can I just say how glad I am for a warm house? I think being cold might be my least favorite thing in the whole world. I just don't like the cold at all and this morning boy was it ever cold. -23 according to my car and my poor husband drove car that still has no heat - sorry my love! I am always cold when I first get into bed and last night was no exception - I am the one hogging the blankets and adding more blankets and huddling up to Barry to stay warm - he on the other hand would rather have a cool bed room and freezing feet. He is sweet enough to hold me till I go to sleep - our bed was toasty warm at 4:40 this morning when his alarm went off - the kids were happy to not go to school today and I am happy to know that my house will be nice and warm when I get home.

Gratitude Day 4

2011-01-28T11:09:00.001-07:00

Today I am grateful for a car that runs. I have had times in my life when my vehicle was less then reliable. These days I am blessed with running cars and a spouse who keeps them that way. Last year I drove our little toyota that doesn't have much heat to speak of - not fun. This year I get to drive the nice car and I love the heat that flows from the dash. With my upcoming trip to SLC with Cass it will be nice to have a car that functions well and has a nice radio. Glad I am not driving a horse and buggy!

Gratitude Day 3

2011-01-27T12:40:00.002-07:00

Today I am grateful for prayer. I have had many many prayers answered my life time. Not all the answers I thought I wanted at the time but over time I have discovered that my Father in Heaven truly does know what is best for me. I have to admit that there have been times (and I'm certain there are still more to come) when I thought that what I was experiencing was more perhaps then even my Father in Heaven could handle - how wrong I was. I am constantly amazed at what my God thinks I can handle. The thing that is most amazing is how much help He gives me when I ask. Its not always the help I expect or that I want but eventually it always comes. I have been struggling for the past year with some emotional/spiritual things that have caused me to seclude myself from most of my friends and even family. I have realized recently that this is probably not my best mode of action and am trying to rectify it but that seems to be a work in progress. I have been amazed in the last few weeks as I have more throughly gone about turning things over to the Lord and pouring my heart out in prayer that things are getting better. I have difficult days still but it is getting better and I am so grateful for a Father in Heaven who listens to his daughter.

Gratitude Day 2

2011-01-26T10:04:00.002-07:00

Today I am grateful for my job. Now I would like to say right up front that I wish I didn't have to work or that I could work shorter days so that I could be home with my kids - but with that said I love my job. I have wanted to be a nurse for as long as I can remember but for years I did not think I was capable of not only the schooling but the job in and of itself. School was an amazing, scary, overwhelming, wonderful, difficult, stressful, fantastic, etc......time for me. I loved it, hated it, couldn't wait for it to be over, and then it was and I had to find a job! I had always thought I would work in OB delivering babies but Barry and I agreed that 12 hour shift did not work with our schedule. We also realized that if I was working nights, weekends, and holidays that I wouldn't get much time to bond with his children. I was so blessed to find the job that I have. Yes it pays less then hospital nurses but it really couldn't be more perfect for our family. I count it a blessing everyday to work where I do. The benefits to my family are amazing and my job is almost no stress - most days I would say it was the least stressful part of my life. I love the people I work with they are like my 2nd family and my boss is amazing. So like I said whereas I wish I could be home more with the kids - I am grateful for the job I have.

Gratitude Journal Day 1

2011-01-25T09:12:00.002-07:00

I have a goal for our Relief Society University to record 30 days of gratitude - so this is day one -

Today I am grateful for my family. The family I was raised in, my extended family, my work family, and especially my own husband and the family that we are raising now. Whereas Barry and I's family situation is not unique there are some unique aspects to it and I am constantly surprised by our children and certain aspects of raising a combined family. I am so grateful to have Barry in my life. My children love him and I love him. We have great children. Heres a quick rundown of them for those of you who get behind.

Stetson - 17 - Stetson is a junior at Sugar and enjoys wrestling. I am looking forward to state again this year. Last night he was so sweet with Emma (his little sister w/ his mom) while we were ice skating for family home evening and as soon as he sends me the pictures he took on his phone I will post a few of those.

Justin - 15 - Justin is a Freshman at Bonneville and also enjoys wrestling. It is fun to go see him wrestle and we are also looking forward to state with him. It will be interesting to keep up with both of them and cheer for two schools but thats the way we roll! We don't get to see Justin as often as we would like but enjoy it when we do.

Cassidy - 13 - Cass is in the 7th grade and Jr. High here in Sugar. She had major surgery in December and I can't believe how well she is recovering. It really is a miracle how well she is doing. It has hardly slowed her down. We go back in a week or so for follow up and then she has her eye surgery in April. I can't believe how quickly she is growing up.

Hayden - 12 - Hayden is also here in Sugar 6th grade and just turned 12 in November. It is awesome to watch him pass the Sacrament and know that he holds a small portion of God's power. I have really enjoyed having him in our home and find myself enjoying doing homework with him. The top bunk in his room is like a memorial to all the things he has built with his kenex - he is pretty talented.

Ammon - 11 - Ammon is living in Texas with his dad and is in the 5th grade. I have missed him so much and am looking forward to the summer when we plan on having him back. We got to have him for a week at Christmas and that was pretty fantastic. He is doing well in school and enjoying spending some time with his dad. I miss you buddy!

Treyton - 11 - Treyton is also in the 5th grade but he is attending Ucon Elementary. It was fun when we get them for the weekend and see the difference in the boys personalities. There is less then a year between the three of them and I think we could be in for an interesting time when they are all teenagers.

Rachel - 9 - Rachel is in 3rd grade and she really enjoys school this year. I have seen alot of growing emotionally in Rachel this past year and it makes me a little sad that she isn't my little tiny girl anymore. She is a great big sister and takes good care of Kerri - they like to walk home from school occasionally and she enjoys knowing she is "in charge" of Kerri. She has always had an extra portion of love for all animals and has been known recently to make a "house" complete with food in order to save the mouse we were all trying to exterminate from our home recently. She really is a sweetheart.

Savannah - 8 - Savannah is also in 3rd grade in Ucon. I think one of her biggest frustrations in life is being younger the Rachel even if it is only by a few months. Savannah is really enjoying dance this year and I am excited to go see her - Barry has been to her performance but often we have to divide and conquer and I am excited for my turn to see her it is something she really has a natural talent for and you can see how much fun she is having.

Kerri - 6 - and certainly not least but last of all is Kerri. She is in kindergarten this year and doing really well. It was a difficult choice for me to have her repeat kindergarten this year but I can tell that it was the best choice. She loves learning this year and it is fun to have her read to me from the little books they send home. Kerri is my baby and I probably treat her more so then I should but she is growing up despite me. She and Rachel got a DS for Christmas and it has been hilarious to watch her concentration as she plays - love it.

Barry and I - this has been kind of a crazy year for Barry and I but I don't think it will be the last one. I think like just gets crazier as our kids grow up and have more activities. I have really enjoyed having him home more this winter as he isn't working up at Kelly's - I know the kids have missed going but I think the sacrifice has been worth the time - especially with him being able to go to wrestling tournaments and things like that. I am grateful everyday to have him for my husband and will post more about that when he is my gratitude for the day. I am grateful for my family - on all sides and also know I can never repay or be grateful enough for all that is done for us. We are indeed blessed in the area of family and we know it - we love you all.

Pictures from Primary Children's

2010-12-30T18:03:00.006-07:00

The pictures aren't in any particular order - just some random shots while we were there.

Cassidy had lots of visitors. Her Dad and Jamaica came all the way from Texas. Gma and Gpa Rice from Canada! The Utah Hockey Team came to0 as well as several therapy dogs. The first few days Cass wasn't really up to much visiting and doesn't have much memory even of the first few days. Dr. Hopkin and Candy came up for a visit. I know I was always glad to see a new face come in the door. I am so glad that I was able to be at the hospital with her for the duration of her stay.
As you can see it took a whole group of people to get her down the hallway at first. She did so well though. I was (and still am) so impressed with her willingness to do what was required of her - she is one tough little lady!

Waiting to go home - we could hardly wait!
She had many fantastic nurses. I decided it must be a requirement to work there - they were all so great and I was grateful for all that they let me do for her.

This is Cassidy's surgeon Dr. Rebekah Meyers. She is so awesome. We are so grateful to her for all her help.
This is Cassidy on December 2nd the day of surgery. It was so so hard to see her in so much pain and look so vulnerable. Things like this are sure hard for Momma's.
This is Cassidy the night before we left the hospital - after she had her chest tubes removed. Wow what a difference that made! So good to see her up!

What a Difference a few Days Make

2010-12-08T06:57:00.002-07:00

Last night I actually slept - it was so nice to wake up and realize it was almost morning. And Cassidy has slept also. They have come in and given her her meds but other then that she has slept and reported her pain at a 6 or even a 5. How wonderful to have it be something besides a 9 or a shouted 10, 10, 10. This little girl has been so amazing. She really is so so strong. This has been a hard thing. Sunday night they took her PCA - meaning she no longer had her little button that gave her morphine each time she needed it. They told me that if would be a hard night - boy was that about the biggest understatement of the year. I'm pretty sure that Sunday night made it on my chart of top ten hardest days of my life. They said they were transitioning her onto oral meds and they wanted to go with Oxycodone. Ok. So about 8pm they gave her the first dose and let her keep her PCA which she able to use some but was mostly sleeping. Keep in mind that I am not supposed to push that button for her and I didn't. Around 11 they came back in and gave her the next dose of Oxy. She took it and was asleep again - I don't think she used the PCA at all. A half hour later they took the PCA - while she was asleep. She got up maybe 30 or 45 minutes later and wanted her button. She was hurting. That was the last sleep we got until after 10am the next day. It seemed that not matter what they did she was hurting and hurting alot. She yelled and cried and screamed. She asked them to let her die. She wished that she had died. She yelled ow, ow, ow over and over again. I'm hurting she would say please give me something. They did of course all that they could. And I could do nothing. Finally about 5 they had given her all that they could for quite a while. I could hardly stand it - she was hurting and I couldn't help I began to cry. I had tried very hard to control my emotions around her because they had told us in the beginning that our anxieties transfer and worry them. I didn't want that but I couldn't help it anymore. She looked at me and said, Mommy are you crying? I told her no but she said "yes you are, I made you cry". I assured her that she was ok I was just having a hard time and I asked her if I could go for a walk. She told me no, and said please please don't leave me. In the saddest little voice you have ever heard. I assured her that I would not leave her and she asked again for something for the pain. I told her there was nothing else they could give her. She opened her eyes, looked at me and said "then I need a blessing". It only took about 10 minutes for the nurse to round up to male nurses with the priesthood. They laid their hands on her head and gave her a blessing. She was calm after that even thru all the pain and I was so grateful. So grateful for her faith in the priesthood and for two strangers who helped us in our time of need. So glad to be able to ask and have that request granted in such a short amount of time. Later that day her nurse apologized and said I should have been better prepared. She said the first 12 hours of oral pain meds are always like that - but I honestly can't describe to you how awful it was. It still makes my eyes well up with tears to think about it. Yesterday was our best day yet. For about 2 or 3 hours Cassidy was awake and talking - she even smiled and joked a little. It was so great to see her. We have had the most amazing nurses and I am so grateful for their patience and kindness to both Cassidy and I. I am so grateful for their trust in my and allowance of my help with her care. It has helped me so much to be able to participate and be included in this. I am so glad I am a nurse and can understand at least a part of what they are talking about. I hope we get to go home soon - and I hope things go well after we get there. So glad that Sunday night is over and things are starting to look up. They said that her chest tubes will most likely come out today - yeah we've heard that before but I am hoping that it is true. They said maybe even her little drains that they told us before might be up to two weeks. How awesome it would be to go home with no tubes. I sure miss my husband and will be so glad to be back in our own bed. I hope Cassidy has more of an appetite today. She can't go home untill she is eating and drinking better - keep praying for her.

December - Fast Sunday

2010-12-05T06:43:00.004-07:00

Today is Sunday the 5th of December the first Sunday of the month of December. One of my favorite months of the year - even though it comes in winter. I love Christmas. I love the feeling and spirit that surrounds this time of year with the thought of the birth of my Savior. Since becoming a mother my thoughts often turn to Mary and the amazing woman that she became. Last spring I had the privilege of portraying Mary for a Young Women's activity. There were several of us representing a great woman from history who was chosen to represent one of the young womens values - (Divine Nature) I had the blessing of bearing my testimony through Mary - the Mother of Jesus. I was at a point in my life that was very difficult for me and this experience - writing Mary's story -from my point of view was very therapeutic and very healing. Not sure why but I feel like sharing it today.

(I first started writing this at the hospital but it wouldn't let me copy and paste my talk - today it did!)

Divine Nature

Mary – Mother of Jesus

Good Evening, my name is Mary and I am the mother of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I lived over 2000 years ago and yet it seems like only yesterday that my father and mother told me that I would be privileged to marry Joseph. I was just about the same age as some of you - somewhere between 14 and 16. Joseph was quite a bit older - a carpenter - we had several pieces of furniture that he made in our home. I had been in his shop with my father on several occasions and I had always thought of him as handsome. I was so happy - I knew Joseph was a righteous man and that he would be a wonderful husband.

One evening as I was sitting outside imagining what my life as Joseph’s wife and if we were blessed with children what being a mother might be like - a light suddenly appeared before me. In the light was a man - an angel - he called me by name and told me his name was Gabriel. He said he had been sent from God. He told me that I “had found favor with God and that I was blest among women.” As you can imagine nothing like this had ever happened to me or any one else that I knew. I was troubled and a little afraid. The angel saw my worry and told me to “fear not” He then told me that I had been chosen to be the Mother of God’s only begotten Son and that I should name him Jesus.

I thought of my engagement to Joseph and our approaching wedding day. My parents had taught me the importance of remaining clean and pure before marriage and I knew that it was impossible for me to have conceived such a child. The angel went on speaking telling me how my son would be called great, wonderful, mighty, the Son of the Highest. Wait I said - my head was spinning - it was so much to take in. I looked into his eyes and saw only kindness and understanding there so I asked him how it would be possible for this to happen when I was not yet married. He simply told me that it would happen through the power of the Holy Ghost. He then went on to tell me that my cousin Elizabeth had also conceived a son and that he would be born in about 3 months. This was big news - although Elizabeth was older then my own mother she and I had always been close and I knew that she had always dreamed of being a mother. The angel smiled then and told me that “with God nothing is impossible.” I felt a peace then that I would remember for the rest of my life and I said - “be it unto me according to thy word.”

The angel left me then and within a few days I was on my way to visit my cousin Elisabeth to help her prepare for the birth of her child. It was so wonderful to be in her home. When I arrived the she said the spirit had whispered to her what was happening to me and that even the little one in her womb had recognized the spirit that was even now growing inside of me. Elizabeth and I talked for hours on end of the miracles that were happening to us. I had many concerns and my cousin was like balm to my soul. I was able to express my concerns, fears, and feelings of inadequacy to her. How could I, I was so young- as yet unmarried and quite shy, - how could I be worthy of raising such a child - the Son of God? Elizabeth reminded me that I too was a child of God, His daughter and that I had come to this earth with the divine nature of my Father in Heaven ingrained the very fiber of my being. She reminded me that the promise of the birth of the Savior had been promised in the scriptures and that of all the women in the world that God had chosen me to bring this child into the world. She said that God didn’t expect me to do this on my own – that He would send people – like her, my parents, Joseph, and many others to help me through any and all of life’s trials. She said she too often felt inadequate and she thought that was simply part of being a human, especially a woman.

She reminded me that God was, is, and always will be my loving Father in Heaven and that He would always guide me and protect me. We talked of the person that my little son would become. How not only would He be the Savior of the world, He would be my Savior and that He would suffer for even these trials that I was experiencing now.

You all know how my story unfolds – of the miracles I was privileged to be a part of. I have led an amazing life – one full of marvelous miracles and also excruciating pain. Watching my son, my baby, my Savior suffer and die on the cross was one of the most difficult things any mother could be asked to bear and yet even in this moment of pain and anguish for my Son, He was still looking out for me and thinking of me – reminding His loving Apostle to care for me. He will do the same for you. I have looked into your Saviors eyes, I have felt of His love for each of you and I know how much joy it brings when we not only believe in Him but believe Him. I have seen His joy as He went about healing the sick and afflicted. I have seen Him care about small things like whether or not there was enough wine at a friends wedding and I have seen Him care enough about others that He would forgive them even as they took His life. I cannot imagine growing up today – with all the trials and challenges the world is facing but I do know this, you too are God’s daughter and you have been born with a divine nature inside of you – call upon this power as you go about your life. My son and His Father have not forgotten you, they will not forsake you. Every thing you are asked to bear in this life – whether it be wonderful or agonizing they will provide someone to help you through. They will be there for you in your times of trial and pain – get down on your knees ask for help as often as you need it, and it will come – every single time, even multiple times in one day if needed. I bear testimony of this and leave you my witness of our Savior – that He lives. In the name of Jesus Christ- Amen.

Cass

2010-12-04T06:40:00.003-07:00

On December 11 1997 one of my hearts desires became reality. I have always wanted to be a mom. I remember as a little girl wish with all my heart that I could hurry and grow up so I could be a mom. I played with dolls far longer then most of my friends simply because I loved babies so much. I loved going babysitting, loved (most of the time) helping with my mom's daycare in high school. I even took babysitting kids on dates with me more then once - I have just always wanted to be a mother. And finally with the birth of my sweet daughter I was a mom. As any who have given birth can attest it is not an easy feat and my labor with Cass was long and silly me I was too afraid of a needle in my back to get a epidural so she was basically natural - yeah silly me. I remember in the delivery room being so tired that I didn't think I could even lift my arm. I actually remember looking at my own arm and thinking that it was too heavy too lift and thinking I won't be able to hold my own child if she ever arrived. When she finally got there after almost 2 long hours of pushing however it was as if all that went out the door. I have a picture of before her cord has even been cut and my arms are already reaching for her - I wanted that baby! That is a picture by the way that most will never see do to the graphic details shown! I was so happy to see her. She was tiny and so perfect with long fingers and toes and little itty bitty finger nails and absoultely no hair at all. No eyelashes or eyebrows even. She was due on the 21st and born on the 11th but they decided after that her due date must have been wrong because she had other signs of being a little more early then that. She got to stay with me in the room though and I just wanted to look at her all the time. She was such a good baby. Hardly ever fussy and just a sweet almost sober little child. She was named Cassidy Lucille Rice. Lucille is also my middle name and we are both named after my Grandma Brown. Cassidy was my dream come true and she still is. While she is indeed a teenage girl (well almost) with all the emotional attachments that come with growing up she is indeed a very good girl. I love her so much. I like to think that we are pretty good friends and I hope that continues as she grows up. I can't even begin to explain how difficult this has been as her mom. I have for the most part been able to control my emotions but have had moments when I break into tears. The first time was in recovery when they were having such a hard time with her pain. She wasn't angry or irritable at all just hurting so much and you could see it in her eyes, facial expression, and body language. I honestly can't imagine a more painful surgery. If you break your leg, arm, hip, head even they immobilize it and you don't get to use it. She had no choice. Her sternum has literally been cut and broken and she has to use it with each and every breath she takes. Her nurse tonight said that of all the surgery patients she has cared for that this is the one surgery that she would never ever want to have. - not that she would want any I'm sure. And yet Cassidy has been so great. Another breaking moment for me was telling Cass that her cousin Jeff fasted for her on Thursday. Jeffery is the same age as Cass and they are in the same grade at school. They are pretty good pals and apparently without telling anyone Jeff opted to fast for his friend and cousin. Like most kids his age Jeffery does not enjoy fasting and yet he made this sacrifice for her - thank you Jeffery - I'm not sure you will ever know how much that meant to her mom. As I was reading the email his mom, my sister, Bonnie sent me to tell me about it I felt hot tears of emotion well up in my eyes but the next morning as I told Cass about it they just ran down my cheeks - they are welling up again just writing about it. What an amazing act of faith and I as her mother am very very grateful - thank you Jeffery.
It is amazing how well she is doing. Yesterday less then 24 hours after surgery she got out of bed and walked down the hall - it takes quite a group to carry all her drains and drag the oxygen tank and IV pole but she was so great and walked 4 times yesterday - meeting the goal set by her amazing nurse Sarah. She was our nurse again tonight and I won't tell Cass that although she set a goal of 4 times she didn't expect her to do it more then 2 - even once would have been great. The last 2 times were even initiated by Cass so she could mark her boxes off the chart in her room. It really wore her out though - but it is so so good for her recovery. As you can imagine coughing and such are really painful right now and without walking and use of her incentive spirometor pneumonia can easily set it - not a good idea! I am so grateful to my Father in Heaven for His help in this. I am grateful for Cassidy's faith in the power of the Priesthood. She has asked for a blessing each night and both times as been able to sleep for quite a while after. I love the power, blessing, and strength of the Priesthood and I am so deep down grateful that it has been restored to the earth. How blessed I am to live in a time where the true gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored to the earth. How blessed to be born into a family where I was taught the gospel and blessed with the a father who was always lived worthy to give me a blessing. I have always had faith in this power - whether it be for illness, or emotional pain and I am grateful that my daughter seems to have this same faith. Oh how I've prayed for her and know that many others are doing the same - what a blessing. I have been so grateful to see Barry's hands laid on her head - I am so blessed to have him for my husband. He is so good to me and my children. I pray that I am as good a mother to the children he has brought to our marriage as he is a father to mine. I truly love Barry's children but don't always know how to let them know that I do. It seems so easy for him to show love to mine. He and Cass have such a good relationship. He teases her mercilessly and she gives it right back. He told her to hurry and get well so he could pick on her again - he says its no fun to tease when she doesn't even respond. I have no idea what I did to deserve the man that he is. He is so good to me and I feel blessed everyday to be his wife. I am so proud to be the woman that he has chosen to spend eternity with - and hope that when eternity comes that he still wants me. He has been my rock through so many things since we began and this has been no exception. He has stayed late, gotten here early, helped Cass walk, fed her, helped adjust her, teased her into eating, encouraged her to breathe, given her multiple priesthood blessings, and simply shown both of us his love. Thanks Barry - I love you too.
Cassidy has been indeed blessed with lots of love. Her dad and his wife flew in from Texas and she said in her prayer the night before surgery how glad she was that they came. Her Grandparents from Canada have driven all this way to love and support her. Her Holman Grandparents are gone to Tennessee but Grandpa helped with a blessing before we came and loaned us this laptop to help with stress and boredom - truly a blessing. They have also called and prayed for her. My parents have been watching Rachel and Kerri - no small sacrifice - so that I could be here with her. I have the most amazing parents in the world and I hope I can always be as close with my children as I am with my own mother. She is truly a great lady and such a great example. Thank you thank you mom for all your love prayers and support. There have been many times in my life that I would have been so lost without you. Cass has had visitors from Idaho and here in Utah. Even Dr. Hopkin is coming to see her today. Seriously my amazing Dr. is coming here to see her. I honestly have such a great job and it really is more like a family then a job. I am so blessed to have been hired to work there. I feel so loved by my Heavenly Father for the many many blessings I am blessed with. Life is certainly not without challenge and there are days when I wonder who in the world my Father in Heaven thinks I am to be able to deal with certain challenges but I have learned that the Atonement is for every single day of my life and I know that even this pain that my Cassidy is suffering has been suffered by her Savior and so He truly understands how she feels. What a blessing to have someone who actually knows how you feel. There have been so many times in my life where I have simple been grateful to be able to talk to and poor out my heart to someone who honestly and truly understands my heart. I have learned the last few years to truly rely on my Savior and it seems that I often have to relearn it but it is getting easier to accept His plan for me and my life even when it doesn't go exactly like I think it should. I am so grateful to be here with Cassidy and be a part of her team. This has been hard but I think good for us I think we will be even closer because of it. I love it when she asks me for help - even when it is to scratch her toe, armpit, or even her bum!
This has become a long sort of rambling post - simply my thoughts as I type as I sit here at her bedside and listen to her breath. She is still my baby girl.

Primary Children's Room 3059

2010-12-03T07:20:00.002-07:00

So yesterday was one of the longest days of my entire life. Well lets start with Wednesday. We had heard there were storms coming through that morning so we headed down late Tuesday and saw the eye doctor Wednesday morning. His conclusion with her eye was that she has "late onset severe lazy eye". He let us know that we do not have to chose surgery but there are not other options to correct her vision. He said that with time her eye will only worsen and that she eventually will not have much control over where it looks at all. He said she would have no peripheral vision or depth perception in that eye at all. He went on to say that it would affect her education, her ability to get a job or promotions, her social life, her ability to find a spouse.... So yeah we opted for surgery. We have scheduled that for April 8th - that sounded good since Sugar's spring break is the 8th - the 12th. We talked about doing it while she was here but decided it would be too much for her. He said we could do it as soon as the first of January and that he did not suggest waiting till school was out. With as much school as she is missing already January seemed too soon so April it is.
So then we just had to wait till Thursday for the real reason we are here. We arrived for registration at 8:15 am and she was taken to surgery at 10. We had the option of a little versed before hand for anxiety issues. They said that because she is older then 6 she did not have to have it - anyone who knows Cass and medical stuff knows why I said um yeah lets let her have that. It was funny to watch her get a little silly before they took her back and I was grateful the medicine made it easier for her to say good-bye. Then the wait began. The surgery waiting room is pretty good-sized but it was also pretty full of parents all anxiously waiting for news of their children. We were told they would keep us updated and they did. It could have been alot more awkward waiting then it was. There were six of us. Barry and I, Jerry and Jamaica (Her dad and his wife) and Jerry's parents. Divorce seems to add a little complication to most of life and so this was no different. It wasn't bad though and we all played UNO for quite a while which was a good time passer. We heard something about once an hour. Always the news was that Cassidy was handling things well and they would check in again. The last call we got they said they were "putting her back together". The surgery ended up lasting 5 long - very long hours. When Dr. Meyers came to see us she let us know how things went. They ended up taking all of the cartilage from her 2 upper ribs on both sides (that's 4) and part of the cartilage from 7 or 8 others. She said they completely removed the end of her sternum and cut 3 triangle shaped pieces out of her sternum. She said they then "cracked" it and she made a motion with her hands like you would when breaking a stick. They then wired everything back together. It was over an hour from the time the Dr. came before they came to get me. They had said only 1 person could go to recovery and I sure wanted to be that person. When we went back they said that it had been hard to get her pain controlled and that is why it had taken so long. There had been a miscommunication and no pain meds at all had been ordered for her. That was quickly remedied although it took quite some time to get on top of things. She ended up staying in recovery for about 31/2 hours. She made it to her room about 6:30 which was a long long time from our 8:15 arrival. She has lots of wires and tubes - 2 chest tubes, 2 JP drain tubes, IV, Foley Catheter, a ON Q which is two epidural catheters going directly into her wounds this applies locating (numbing meds) directly on her wounds. She also has a PCA which allows her to have continuous morphine and she can dose herself every ten minutes with a little extra. She is also taking additional IV anxiety, pain, and nausea meds. It was so hard to watch her struggle - especially in the recovery room. I wanted to cry with her and wish so much that I could take some of the pain and make this easier for her. I have been working on this post for over two hours - stopping to help her and try to adjust her so she will be more comfortable. This morning she thought a banana milkshake sounded good but only took a few sips. I love this child so much - watching her struggle is so hard. I wish she would be grumpy but she just lays so quiet it is hard to get her to respond. Her eyes are so sad it breaks my heart.

Halloween

2010-11-02T11:37:00.002-06:00

Every year our office dresses up for Halloween. This year as you might guess from the above picture we were The Wizard of Oz. It's always fun to see patients reactions when they come in and fun to go on rounds up to the hospital with Dr. Hopkin. I am so blessed everyday to have a job that I love. I am aware that having a job at all these days indeed quite a blessing but to have one where you enjoy going to work everyday is pretty amazing.

I admit to being a neglectful mother this Halloween as I was unable to locate our camera and therefor have no pictures of the kids - this one was taken on Julie's (the lion) cell phone and then emailed to me - so sorry but no pics of the kids. Cassidy was a pirate, Hayden was Dorothy, Rachel and Kerri were both pixies - not to be confused with fairies which are bigger then pixies! We went to two Trunk or Treats which were both lots of fun. I for one love trunk or treats even though Barry feels that they have ruined Halloween - he remembers taking his pillow case all over town and filling it to the brim - going to the best houses twice or more and not coming home until he absolutely had to. I grew up in the country - next to the cememtary no less and we did not wander the neighborhood on a regular night let alone Halloween we would have loved a neighborhood trunk or treat in my day. Halloween is far from my favorite holiday but I love Thanksgiving and Christmas so I am excited for the holiday season. I am going to attempt to do some thankful blogs again this year even though I never made it through the alphabet last year.

Cassidy's surgery is scheduled for the 2nd of December and she will see the Eye Doctor on the 1st. We were hoping to get both surgeries out of the way at the same time but was told yesterday that the possibility of that is slim to none. Simply because of the amount of anesthesia she will have with the first surgery. I am still hoping that they will work something out so we don't have to drive down twice.

And yesterday marked the point where I could say that Ammon will be home next month!!!

1 Month + updates

2010-10-12T08:39:00.004-06:00

Today makes one month since the girls and I have been working out. I'm not sure the day we started that I thought it would continue. I am so glad we have. This weekend Barry and I went and got memberships to World Gym. We realized with the colder weather creeping in we won't be able to walk outside for much longer plus the gym offers other things that walking doesn't. I am excited to get toned and feel better about the way I look. I also can not believe how much exercise helps with stress and anxiety. It is something I wish I had learned when I was much younger. I am thinking that it would be good for Cassidy as she is pretty stressed right now about all that is going on with her life.

For the past few weeks several people have mentioned that Cassidy appears to have a lazy eye. We took her to see the eye doctor on Saturday and she does indeed have one. There of course is a large medical term for it but I can't remember it and probably couldn't spell it if I did. She has one of worst powers of it. Since you usually know about a lazy eye much earlier then this we are doing an MRI tomorrow to see if there is any other underlying cause besides genetics. They are also saying that surgery to correct it is probably her best option and they are recommending the pediatric ophthalmologists down at Primary Children's to do it. So that means another trip to SLC to meet and visit with the eye doctor and then schedule another surgery. There is a good possibility that while she is in the hospital in December that she will be having not one but two surgeries. Thankfully the eye one is a lot less traumatic and dramatic then the one for her chest. I sure love this little girl and am sad to see her struggling with these things. I am grateful for the power of the priesthood to help comfort at times like this. I think maybe we both need one this week.

Hayden also graduated from his dyslexia class that he took this past week. I couldn't believe how willing and even excited he was to go to class everyday. While everyone else was off playing during spud harvest - here he was still in class. He did great though and while he was there he went from reading on a 2nd-3rd grade level to reading at 5th grade - in 5 days! WOW - He is so awesome. I am so proud of him. As Barry and Judy and I sat across the table from him and listened as he read a passage (at 5th grade level) that he had never seen before and only make 2 or 3 mistakes it was all I could do not to cry. ( I didn't want to embarrass him) It has been hard to watch him struggle with reading. I love reading so much and it is awesome to see him reading and actually enjoying it. So that has been awesome and I hope that we can do all the things that we need to to keep it going. The class was interesting uses some different techniques to"orient" his brain - but it works so I'm not arguing. I just want to do all I can to keep it going for him.

I am also excited because we got Ammon's Christmas flight home booked. He will arrive in SLC on December 19th. I can not wait to see him. That will be a pretty crazy time as Cass will still be recovering from her surgery but it will be fantastic to see Ammon. I have missed him like crazy. I hope he choses to move back home at some point but want him to be happy and healthy so I am trying not to put pressure on him or make him feel that he has to chose between his parents. I am not always the best at sharing and I don't like sharing my children. I also understand however that there are certain consequences of divorce and this is one that I get to deal with on both sides of the issue. I have dearly loved having Hayden live with us but also have empathy for his mother as she is missing him too.

Hope you all have a fantastic day! If anyone has some advice or experience with any of the issues above let me know - I'll take all the help I can get!

Shapin' Up

2010-09-27T08:41:00.002-06:00

Last Tuesday my sisters and I started walking together. We've decided to make it more like an informal biggest loser thing only we aren't competing to lose weight. We will be meeting 5-6 days a week to work on getting in shape together. We meet at 5am and do some sort of cardio workout. Here's our tentative schedule -

Monday – Meet at Becky's – Workout video plus at least 1 mile walk
Tuesday – Meet at Karin's – Walk the bike path – goal – 3 miles each way
Wednesday – Meet at BYU-I stadium - 2 Miles around track - plus walk the stairs
Thursday - Back at Becky's
Friday – Meet at Bonnie's for walking
Saturday – Meet at Dr. Larsen's for 4-6 mile walk
Today we met at Becky's and measured so that we could keep track of the inches that we hope to lose. We also agreed to keep a food journal so that we can see what we are eating and what is keeping us from meeting our goals. We will remeasure again in one month to see how we are each doing. Here are my measurements - (don't laugh at my scrawny arms - I'm working on that!)
- Chest – 32
- R Arm – 9 1/2
- L Arm – 9 ¼
- Waist – 30 1/2
- Hips - 36 ½
- R Hip – 19
- L Hip – 19 ½
- 116 lbs
- 19.1% Body Fat
  Each of us has different goals that we are working to attain. My goal is not to lose weight necessarily but to get in shape and build and tone muscle. I am excited about feeling better about myself and the way I look. Since February I have been able to maintain a weight loss of 10 lbs and I have noticed that when I work out on a regular basis that I feel better emotionally and spiritually as well as physically.
  For Enrichment my ward is doing a Relief Society University. We have a list of goals to chose from - including physical fitness, family, spirituality, etc. We are supposed to chose between 3-9 goals in each area in order to earn between a bachelor's and doctorate degree. I am excited about all the areas and looking forward to learning about myself and improving how I feel. The last few months I have been struggling emotionally and really feel like these goals are going to help me overcome that. I have already noticed a big difference since I have been working out this past week. I have also really enjoyed spending time with the other girls. I haven't ever walked with or worked out with a group before and it has been really fun to hang out with the girls. They really help me to push past what I would ever do by myself. Posting this blog will help keep me motivated too I think. So here I go this is really my first real and serious attempt at getting in shape. I have always been able to eat pretty much whatever I want but the last few years that is catching up to me. I have also recently learned that I am moderately insulin resistant so I know I need to watch my sugars and lose belly fat. Wish me luck!

Cassidy's Surgery

2010-09-23T10:34:00.002-06:00

Just a quick update on my Cassidy. She and I drove down to Primary Children's on Monday. And I just have to note that for the first time I did not get lost trying to get back on the Highway - anyone who knows my sense of direction knows that this is an accomplishment! The real news for this post however is that they have decided to schedule the surgery. (for those that don't know Cassidy has a common chest deformity - well two actually - Pectus Excavatum and Pectus Carinatum) We have known that this was coming for probably 5 or 6 years. I however kept hoping that they would say that they had discovered a new non-invasive pain-free treatment. Well that didn't happen! When we went for her check up about 1 1/2 years ago Dr. Meyers said she wanted to see Cass back when she had a growth spurt and then talk about scheduling. A couple weeks ago Cass was visiting me at work along with several other kids and Barry. Barry was busy weighing and measuring the kids just for fun and he let me know that Cassidy had grown 2 1/2 inches since January. I called Primary's and they said that is considered a growth spurt and that we should bring her back. Dr. Meyers only sees patients two Mondays a month so we had a short wait but Monday the 20th was her day.

I get nervous about traffic and being late so we left early and got there almost 2 hours early only to discover that the Dr. was running late anyway so we still waited for forever to see her. It was kind of funny actually because we went up to her office and let her know we were there - early. We asked if we should find something to do of if we could possibly be seen before our 11:40 appointment. Since it was only about 10 they were like of course we'll see her before then but the Dr. has been in surgery and is running about an hour and 45 minutes behind. The lady behind me pips up and says "but is she running late for all the appointments this morning?" The receptionist looked from me to the lady and back again and says, "well since she is in surgery then yes". I guess the other was just hoping I was disliked or something. We ended up seeing her about 12:30! But we went down and had lunch and stuff and time went a little faster then it could have. Next time we will be sure and bring a book to read!

Any way Dr. Meyers looked at Cass and showed us the pictures from last time. I have been able to see her chest growing deeper but I was surprised to see how much worse it looked then lst time. She explained that since Cass has the most rare form of the defect and that actual bone is involved and not just cartilage that she really needs to have it corrected. She said she wanted it done this year. I was like - oh so sometime before next September? and She just looked at me and said "um, THIS year". I was like oh 2010! So since Cass has 2 weeks off from school in December and my doctor will be gone the 1-9 making it easy for me to be out of the office - the surgery will be the first week of December. We won't know the day until of October and the exact time not until the night before - WOW. They anticipate about 4 hours of surgery and then about 1 week hospital stay. She cannot go to school for at least 2 weeks after that - they said the first 2 months are pretty difficult but then we should see improvement. She will be on activity restriction for 6 months due to the idea that if she is falls on or is hit on the chest her ribs will penetrate her hear or lungs - um that doesn't sound great. So as scary as it is it will be good in the end. Keep her in your prayers come December - she will need all that she can get - (and her mom too!). We'll let you know changes as we get them.

Whoa two posts in less then 24 hours - I am on a roll!

2010-08-30T21:17:00.006-06:00

This is a picture of several of the Holman Grandkids when we went to Utah (about a year ago) to see Bryan be given the role of Major in the Army - pretty cool and a pretty cute bunch of kids!

This is Stetson (I believe at State) taking down an opponent - yes he is the one in blue and no the other guy does not look comfortable!
Barry and Amy at the Graduation - Barry w/ Associates and Amy w/ Masters! Congrats you guys!
Barry and I at Graduation - it was so hot already - it was only like 10 am and already almost 100 degrees - Man i love Idaho in the summer. Congrats Barry I love you!

Well for some reason it won't let me load more then 5 pics to this post so there might be more to come but don't hold your breath!

So I suck at Blogging!

2010-08-29T22:50:00.002-06:00

Ok so it's been a really long time again! But I swear I will get better at this!@#%$&

I love blogs - meaning other people's blogs - I even look at blogs of people that I don't really know! Its so fun to look at family and friends blogs and see what they have been up to and what the family is doing and I get frustrated when someone doesn't up date their blog - (yeah yeah i know). So I am going to make a goal of updating once a month. I need to get some pictures up but we have been so bad this summer about taking pictures. It seems that both Barry and I always forget to take the camera or if we remember we just don't get it out - not sure what the deal is on that one but like I said I am going to try and do better.

So summer is somehow over already - I have no idea what happened to it! I love summer - I love camping with Barry and the kids, I love the warm weather, I love cooking on the grill, I love my flower garden, I love the sunshine!, really I love pretty much everything about summer and I am so so sad that it is coming to an end. We had some great camp-outs this summer - of course we went to Pack Saddle Lake as always - the kids love that one. We went to Crystal Hot Springs in Utah - fun water slides! We went to Rock Creek Girls Camp where my parents are currently serving their 2nd mission (have I ever mentioned what awesome parents i have?) Generally we go camping over Labor Day but that is still up in the air. And we have one more the 2nd weekend in September back at Rock Creek for a Brown family reunion which I am so excited about. Did I mention that we drove all the kids to Arizona in May for Barry and his sister Amy's Graduation from University of Phoenix - lets just say 7 kids in the suburban without air conditioning = no fun! Ok so the trip was fun but the ride home sucked!

Starting tomorrow the kids will all be back in school again. (Wow the summer went by fast!) Sugar started last Wednesday and Ucon starts tomorrow. Stetson is a Junior this year (holy cow he is getting old - wait what does that say about Barry and I?) He is with us again this year for school and i love that. I'm not sure if Stetson really knows how much I love him and enjoy having him live with us. Not sure how to express that to a teenager. He is a great kid though and even though there are frustrations with being a step-parent to a teenager I really do enjoy having him around. Justin is Freshman this year and is back at Bonneville. We sure enjoyed having him last year. It must be hard to have to figure out which parent you want to live with. I am sure glad that my parents are still married to each other. It was fun to get to know Justin a little better during the last semester last year and I miss having him around - maybe next year?

Cassidy is in 7th grade and in her first year at Jr. High - thats crazy! I can't believe how fast she is growing up (yes i do think that about all of them!) She is really becoming a young woman. I went to a Fireside at the church with her tonight and it was fun to sit with her. Cassidy has an appointment with Dr. Meyers at Primary Children's on September 20th. We will see what they say about her surgery. They said a year and a half ago that when she has a growth spurt they want her back to talk about scheduling and she has grown 21/2 inches since January - so we'll see what they say - (I'll keep that updated for sure!) Hayden is in 6th grade this year and living with us during the school year for the first time. The first week of school has been great and I am super thrilled that he is here with us. I must admit that I have some empathy for Judy over it - (I guess it's a mom thing) but I am so excited for Barry and also super excited to have him here. Hayden is a great kid and I am looking forward to getting to know him even better. Ammon is in the 5th grade this year and I am sad to say is living in Texas with his dad for the next year. It's funny how sometimes the Spirit prompts you to do something that you don't want to do. I miss him everyday. I love that boy so much. Every year I think "Wow I can't believe it's December all ready where did the year go?" and I am super hoping that the same thing happens this year because just after Christmas is when i get to see him again. I love you buddy and miss you! Lets see whos next? Oh yeah Treyton - He is also in the 5th grade and with him Mom in Ucon for the school year. It was fun to have him here during the summer. I love that we got so much time with the 3 littler Holman's this year. I really truly love Barry's children - our children. Rachel is in 3rd grade this year and was super excited to start school. Savannah is also in 3rd grade and its fun to see two of them starting to become friends. This summer we saw more of that then we have in the past so I am happy for that. Kerri is our caboose and is in Kindergarten this year. We decided to have her repeat to help with reading skills - kindergarten is not my favorite grade.

So thats a short update on the kids. What can I tell you about Barry and I? We just celebrated our 3rd anniversary in July. Seems a little crazy to think we have only been married for 3 years and yet we have all these kids - whatever- thats our life! Our three years have been busy, crazy, and don't seem to be slowing down. In 3 years Barry and I have both gotten our Associates Degree's, we are both working full-time, we have 9 kids, oh the stories i could tell!! However I must say that despite any trials and difficulty we have faced I am so glad that I married Barry Holman. I love him so deeply. He is such a good husband and father. He takes great care of our children and myself. I know that I am loved and that is so important. Sometimes I get caught up in the trials of earth life and I forget that this really is such a short time in the eternal realm of things. I hope I am pleasing my Father in Heaven. I hope I am the wife I want to be. I love being a mother and have been amazed at the love I feel for all of our children.

Wow this post is getting a little long so I'll end here - Hopefully i'll post again soon and meet my goal of at least once a month - Thanks to all who look at this and thanks for letting me have a peek at all of your lives through your blogs! Love you - Karin

It's Been A While....

2010-03-17T12:56:00.004-06:00

So it's been a very long time since I posted anything and since I am doing this one from work you'll have to wait for pics but there will be some coming......eventually.
Let me see if I can do a quick run down on each of the kids -

Stetson -
Stetson took 3rd at District and 4th at State Wrestling. I had never been to state before and it was really fun to watch. He wrestled hard and "tough" as Barry would say and although it was anxiety provoking to watch and not be able to help I totally enjoyed it. Bryce was an awesome support for Stetson during wrestling and it was almost as much fun to watch him and Barry as it was to watch the wrestling match. He also took 1st at the first free-style tournament and 4th at the big one in Pocatello last weekend. Stetson is also just a few months away from being 16 and that means we will be experiencing dating life through the eyes of a teenager for the first time - that should be interesting - I'll keep you posted on that.

Justin -
Justin has been living with us for the past week. He is here for the last semester of school which hopefully should make his summer here more fun. There really has been zero transition with this change - he has been so easy to live with. Justin is also doing free-style and is pretty awesome at it. Justin took 1st twice at his first tournament and I think 4th at the big Rumble in Pocatello this past weekend. I have heard from several people that the girls at school think Justin is "cute" - so thats should be fun for him.

Cassidy -
Cass turned 12 in December and so has entered into the realm of youngwomanhood. She got to do baptisms for the dead for the first time the other night and really enjoyed that. It has been fun to see her growing up and wanting to experience things like that. My mom was one of my best friends when i was growing up and the one I always wanted to talk to - I hope its the same for Cass and I. Cass is getting ready to graduate from the DARE program and she scary enough she will be in Jr. High next year - where does time go?

Hayden -
Hayden is going to be 12 later this year and so he got to go to the priesthood preview with Barry. It is exciting to think about having another priesthood holder in our family - I was not prepared for the amount of pride I have when I watch the boys pass the sacrament. For the past little while Hayden has had what I consider "surfer-boy" hair. Its fun to see thier different personslities and what they think is "cool". Hayden has officially decided he doesn't enjoy wrestling so it will be intesting to see what his nitch is. I must say he is pretty pro at a rubix cube which is something I have never been able to figure out. You can request any color or combo of colors on any given side and within seconds he will have it.

Ammon -
Ammon is once more back into wrestling this year with free-style. His goal is to stay in long enough to get new shoes! He seems to be enjoying it more this year and has done well in his first couple of matches. This week Ammon was invited over to his friends house to help get rid of a mice infestation in the back yard. Imagine his excitment when he was told to bring a BB gun to get rid of them with - oh yeah- the most fun he's had in a while. He is most definetly all boy! And what is it with these boys and long hair? Ammon's hair now covers his ears and is pretty shaggy but he likes it - whats a mom to do? Whats wrong with a good "missionary" haircut?

Treyton -
Treyton is wrestling also and it has been fun to see him a couple of extra times a week as he has been coming to practice with Barry. Its been good for him and Ammon to be able to work together. Treyton has also had long hair for a while now too but just recently got a haircut - man he looks good. The first time I saw him after he got it I had to look twice to know who he was! Treyton has some pretty serious cleaning skills when you can get him to put them to work and will work with you all day - just a hint to any of you out there who might need some help around the house.

Rachel -
Rachel turned 8 in September and was baptized in January. It was fun to see her all dressed in white and making decisions that will benefit her for eternity. She is one of the sweetest little girls I have ever met. She has loved animals ever since she was a tiny little thing. Rachel is a great little reader and i am continually amazed at how fun it is to see your kids learn new things. Rachel had her four front teeth pulled a couple of years ago and it has taken a long time for them to come back in. She won't be toothless for long though because she only has one empty spot left.

Savannah -
Savannah will be turning 8 in May and can hardly wait to be baptized. I think she has mentioned it at least a dozen times everytime I've seen her for the past several months. She has been planning her birthday party for over a year so it might be interesting to see what happens with that. Savannah is a girly girl who loves clothes, shoes, and shopping - it will be fun when all three little girls are teenager together - can you even imagine?

Kerri -
Kerri is our last kindergartner ever! This year all our kids were officially in school. How crazy is that - our family is growing up. Kerri is a funny little thing and comes up with the most random questions and statements. Lately she has been a little monkey and always wants to be on the cupboard or swinging on doors. She is excited for summer to get here so she can get her bike out and ride again - she lost her training wheels last year and is anxious to see if she can still ride without them.

Barry and I -
Barry and I are still teaching primary together (5 year olds- Kerri's class). I enjoy teaching with him so very much! He is awesome with the kids and they all love him - I was writing that about our primary kids but realized the same is true with our family. I could not ask for a better father for our children. He loves them! He takes good care of our family and is always doing something to make my life easier. A few months ago he put shelves above the new washer and dryer - that has been awesome and just recently he added a big shelf in the bathroom - yeah more room for girl stuff! I have such an awesome husband- I love him so much.
Life is not without challenge of course - lately I have been wondering if we all really agreed to what we experience in this life. I am assured that we did and that because we understood what earth life was really all about we also knew it would all be worth it. Wouldn't you like to meet that person you were in the pre-exsistance? To see, really see, who you are and what you are capable of? I think that would be a super interesting experience. Things are pretty good though I have a good job - one that i enjoy - and a great boss who purchased tickets for his employees and their spouses for an Eagles concert in May. That should be tons of fun expecially since I have never actually been to a concert before. A few up on campus but i'm not sure those count!
Well lunch is over and I need to get back to work - I promise to get pics up soon - well sometime anyway - thanks for reading our blog and caring about our family - hope you all have a great day!

I forgot to mention that we have a dog! The kids and I have been working on Barry for years to get one and he finally gave in. She is a mini pinscher that we adopted from the humane society. Her name is Lizzy and we just love her. The kids are all great about helping and playing with her. They are trying to teach her tricks and fun stuff like that. Stetson thinks she might be part kangaroo because she can jump so high. She is pretty much kennel trained already and potty trained so the hard work was done for us and we just get to enjoy her. She is about 7 months old and the perfect fit for our family - Thanks Barry!

My Cute Family

2009-12-02T21:47:00.003-07:00

About the middle of November our sister-in-law Brit took some pics of our family - here is what we are planning on using for our Christmas pic - Man we have cute kids! I'm pretty sure it isn't the easiest thing in the world to get everyone looking at the same time - looking and smiling is appears to be pretty near impossible - oh well it's still cute - I'm a lucky woman!

Old Pics

2009-11-18T09:04:00.002-07:00

So I've been working on a project for Christmas that has allowed me to dig through old family pictures. It has been fun to go back and see what we all looked like through the years. And its fun to see how much some of our children look like us when we were kids. I have such an amazing family - I love you guys!

2009-10-17T18:54:00.001-06:00

Horse Riding With the Cutlers

2009-10-15T17:55:00.005-06:00

One day this summer Drew and Lisa invited us to go horse riding with them up in Newdale. It has probably been 20 years since I have been on a horse. As always I am a big chicken and had to have alot of instruction. Drew and Barry both did a great job of assuring me that I would not die but I was still nervous - pretty sure the horse picked up on this. It was fun though and we super enjoyed it. I love this picture of Lisa in the barn listening to Drew explain to me how to stay on a horse. They have become some great friends to us and we have missed doing things with them the past few weeks while life has been crazy. Maybe we will get together again soon.

Heber Valley Camp

2009-10-15T17:07:00.009-06:00

After we had camped at Pack Saddle Lake for 5 days we headed home Thursday evening for showers and laundry and then headed out Friday morning for Heber Valley Camp to Visit Elder and Sister Brown aka Grandma and Grandpa! We spend a few days learning what it would be like to be a young women attending girls camp at Heber Valley. We played in the canoes and paddle boats on the lake and hiked all over the mountain. It is one of the prettiest places I have ever been. We spent some time on one of the challenge courses - which was scary but lots of fun. Ok so it was scary for some of us and just plain fun for others. For those of you who know what a chicken I am - I get it from my mom who is even a bigger chicken then me! She did the challenge though - it was awesome to see her overcome her fear and have fun - ok maybe not- but still she did it and I think she enjoyed herself a little. We ate lots and lots of food - I think we each brought enough to feed and army. It was great to hang out and visit and relax and hang out with family. Barry and I each took a week off work for our campout and to visit with family - it was soo sooo much fun. I loved it. My parents are finally coming home this weekend. Their six month mission turned into eighteen months - we have missed them terribly but know they were doing a great thing. Thanks for a great time!
We had Tyree and Matthew with us for a few weeks again this summer and that was loads of fun. We sure hope they come back next year. Perhaps we can get Trevin this time too! Thanks for coming to visit you guys!

Barry's Annual Campout at Pack Saddle Lake

2009-10-15T16:11:00.007-06:00

Every year Barry spends a week at Pack Saddle Lake with the kids. Due to school stress this was the first year I have been able to join him. The only draw back was half our kids had just left for Texas but it was really fun. Despite how it looks these were not all taken the same day - I just wore the same jacket everyday! Yes we went in July and yes that is snow in some of the pictures - yes we do live in Idaho! We had tons of fun and I am already excited for next year - hopefully all our kids will be there - I tried riding the dirt bike again and as you can tell from my face I was scared to death! I thought that little ol'creek would be the death of me.

The bigger boys (Stetson and Justin) told the littler kids that they would pay them $20 if they could get to the end of this log. They all made a good effort at it and in my opinion Justin and Stetson should owe them all $20 but I am sure noone will ever see it.

Our good friends the Cutlers joined us one evening for dinner - that was lots of fun. Us girls cooked chicken noodle soup with garlic toast and the boys fished. Bryce and Sherry along with Brooke and Addy joined us that night also but somehow we don't have any pics of that event.
I was a little nervous at first when we saw bear tracks and bear poop on our way down the trail but we never did see any other signs of bear. The kids thought it would have been exciting to at least see one but they were dissappointed in this desire - not me!

We really did have a great time. We hiked, and rode ATV's, played in the sun, and the snow!, I read and relaxed - I think I read 5 books in the 5 days that we camped. So fun!! We have such great kids they all helped set up and break down camp - we sure love you guys!

Sorry this is such a long post but I had so many pics - this isn't even half but there you go. Enjoy!

Another Try

2009-10-15T16:09:00.002-06:00

Ok So I'm sure you all noticed that for some reason or another my last two posts didn't work out so great so I'm must going to load pics the old fashioned way. Sorry about having to scroll through them all but hey at least I'm up dating right?!!!

The Promised Update - I know, I know - Finally!

2009-10-06T21:42:00.002-06:00

If you go by the weather we have been having lately summer 2009 had come to an abrupt end. It was certainly fun while it lasted though. Our family spent the summer doing yard work, camping, working, playing, swimming, camping, more camping, and lots and lots of fun. Since I need to pretty much capture the whole summer in one blog there will be lots of pics - hope you enjoy them! I will add the pics in slideshows - hope you enjoy!

I'm so far behind!

2009-08-13T10:59:00.002-06:00

Ok Ok I know I haven't been very good at posting lately. It has been a crazy busy summer and I won't try to make any more of an excuse then that. We have been camping, visiting family, and other various activites all summer long. I promise to get some pics up soon but I won't promise that it will be sooner then a week or two. I also have an ulterior motive for posting today. I need a favor.....
I have really been struggling lately with some personal issues related to my divorce and I would love some extra prayers thrown my way. I'm not always certain how to handle the situation I am in and want to make the best decisions for all involved. Thanks everybody!

Fathers Day

2009-06-21T18:28:00.002-06:00

Daddy’s Hands
“I remember daddy’s hands folded silently in prayer, and reaching out to hold me when I had a nightmare. You could read quite a story in the calluses and lines, years of work and worry had left there marks behind. I remember daddy’s hands how they held mama tight, and patted my back for something done right. There are things I have forgotten that I love about the man, but I’ll always remember the love in daddy’s hands. Daddy's hands were soft and kind when I was crying, daddy’s hands were hard as steel when I done wrong. Daddy’s hands weren't always gentle but I’ve come to understand there was always love in Daddy’s hands. I remember Daddy’s hands working 'til they bled. He sacrificed unselfishly to keep us all fed. If I could do things over and live my life again, I’d never take for granted the love in daddy’s hands.”

____________________________________________________________________

Ever since I was a little girl this song has reminded me of my Father. He was always sacrificing for our family, and worked countless hours so that our needs would be met. He has always lived his life in the way he believed to be right - there never seemed to be grey boundaries - simply white and black - right or wrong. And he chose the right. This picture is my Dad with his brother Paul - I love the look on his face - he is so happy to be with his family. Serving his Lord and spending time with family and friends is his way of life. I have many memories of receiving fathers blessings as a child and even more as an adult when life wasn't going quite how I wanted it to. I have always counted on my Dad's faith and love. I love you Dad and I am so happy to be your daughter.

____________________________________________________________________

I also want to take a few minutes and thank Barry for the father that he is. He loves his children so much. He takes such good care of all of us. We had a great time camping this weekend and I want to thank him for being such a good father to all of our children. I have learned in the last few years that not everyone has the oppurtunity to grow up in a home with a loving and caring father - I was one of those lucky ones and it would seem that my children are getting that same oppurtunity. Thank you Barry for being worthy of the priesthood and being the kind of man to be willing to work hard everyday so that we can be taken care of. I love you! This picture of Barry was taken while we were still dating. This is the way he always is - helping with the children and making me feel loved and supported. I love you babe and I am incredibly happy to be your wife

- Happy Fathers Day to my two favorite men! -

____________________________________________________________________

Mothers Day

2009-05-10T15:56:00.005-06:00

- My Mom and Dad on their Mission -

-My Mom and Dad just before their mission -

I just wanted to take a moment and thank my mother for being the wonderful, amazing, beautiful, inspiring, spiritual, friend that she is. I think I have always known (even as a bratty teenager) that my mother was someone special. My mom is truly one of my very best friends. Although I know that she and my dad are doing what they should be and I am extremely proud of them for serving a mission - I miss her like crazy! My mom is such a great example to me in so many ways. She constantly shows me who I want to be and I look up and want to be more like her. I keep hoping that someday my children will feel the same about me as I do about her. My sister wrote a thing for the paper about what my mom taught her and I think the most important thing my mother has taught me is to trust and love Christ and that He knows, understands, and loves me. My mom is a living tribute of her testimony . I love you mom - I missed you today! I hope your day was wonderful and that you know how very, very much you mean to me. Happy Mothers Day!

- Dear Mother all Flowers remind me of You! -

I Forgot To Be Thankful!

2009-04-28T09:06:00.003-06:00

Way back in November I started a list of things I am thankful for, one for each letter of the alphabet. I realized that I ended with O, and as we learned way back in kindergarten O is not the last letter of the alphabet. So I decided to make an effort at finishing this list. So here are P, Q, and R: Parenting, Quiet, and Rachel.

*I thought this pic represented a good "parenting moment"*

P: There are many things I am thankful for when it comes to parenting. On Sunday the talks in sacrament meeting were about family history and that reminds me to be thankful for my ancestors who parented my grandparents and so forth. I am grateful for my own parents and the example that they are now and have always been to me, my siblings, and now my children. I am grateful to my husbands parents and the love and support that they show me and my children everyday. I am grateful for others who help parent my children. Aunts, Uncles, Teachers, Neighbors, Grandparents and the many others who make being a parent possible. I am thankful for the opportunity to help parent others children and last but not least I am so grateful to be a parent myself. I love each and every one of my children (not just the ones I actually gave birth too!) I hope they know that even though I am not always patient, I still love them!

*Cassidy and I are enjoying some much needed "quiet"*

Q: Ok so I know I did a post about being thankful for noise and I am, noise often tells me that my children are happy and healthy. Noise at work reminds me that I have a job that I love. Noise at church reminds me how grateful I was as a young mother to be able to leave my own children at the nursery and enjoy a few moments of peace and I love my calling in the nursery. But I also appreciate a little peace and quiet now and again. I love the quietness of the temple and the peace I feel because of the quietness.

*Rachel*

R: It is easy to be thankful for my sweet Rachel. She is such a loving child. She loves all people and animals. For those of you who weren't around, we almost lost her at birth and she is a mighty precious miracle in my life. She turns 8 this year and I am excited at the prospect of her baptism and confirmation. I am so blessed to have her and all those other sweet spirits assigned to my care. Heavenly Father must think I am pretty amazing to trust me this much!

We Miss You

2009-04-27T20:15:00.003-06:00

Singing

Tonight we were looking through some pictures on the computer and ran across some of Blake's Family. The kids all started talking about how much they missed Maya and Desi (shortened because I don't know how to spell it!). So as a family we just wanted to say how much we miss you guys and look forward to seeing you again.

Proof

2009-04-27T07:50:00.003-06:00

It't amazing when you look at the video how small those little ditches look cause the view from the dirt bike makes them look alot bigger! Does anyone besides my children understand what an accomplishment this is?

Update on Cassidy's Epilepsy

2009-04-24T13:07:00.003-06:00

I haven't posted about Cass for a while and thought I'd get everyone up to speed with what we are currently doing for her. I have really struggled with this diagnosis and what is best for her. I have had a hard time with what the neurologist wanted and felt was best. As you know Cass had a pretty severe reaction to the first med that we tried. In fact her reaction was reported to the drug companies because it happened on so low of a dose - anyway the next med that they tried had a severe side effect of psychosis. I could not bring myself to feel good about it. After fasting and praying about it I decided not to give it to her. This did not impress her neurologist at all. She said that most anti-seizure meds are broken down in the liver and that for some reason this is associated with rashes and obviously Cass has an issue with this. The med she was recommending is one of the few used for partial seizures that is broken down in the kidneys instead of the liver. While she was willing to try something else she felt that I was being "paralyzed by anxiety" and "not making decisions in the best interest of my child". In the meantime I had been hearing alot of good things about an alternative route of treatment. There is a man in our area by the name of Destin Thayne and he is what some would call a "witch doctor". He heals by alternative meds using herbs and things like that. When I took Cassidy in for her appointment with him I was surprised that he didn't ask any questions about why we were there he simply went about his business of testing her. He uses a computer that has a device that looks like a large computer mouse, with a metal pad for each finger and the palm. This device sends electrical impulses through the nerve of the finger back to the major organs of the body and back to the computer - don't ask me how it works but he pegged Cassidy to a T. The first thing he asked her was how long she has been constipated. Honestly this has been a huge problem for Cassidy since she was 1 year old. We spent alot of time talking about that and he said that she did not produce the enzymes necessary for breaking down and digesting food. Because of this she is unable to absorb the needed minerals from the food that she eats. He also said she carries staph and strep and that she is fighting a super bad fungus infection. He said that his computer works on a opposite scale so that the level of zinc in the body on his chart should be 0 - Cassidy has a level of 1004! Meaning she pretty much has none - he also said she was very low on an amino acid called Taurine. After all this discussion he asked if there was anything else we would like to discuss. Cassidy very sarcastically said "you mean besides the fact that I have epilepsy?" He was surprised and reran the scan. He said that he treats people with epilepsy and they don't usually have to tell them they have it, he said that after 3 different scans no evidence of epilepsy was visible. He did say however that it has been shown that low levels of Taurine can cause seizures, especially partial seizures.... Cassidy is now taking several supplements including Taurine. She takes a digestive enzyme with each meal. We are hoping this will help and have way less side effects then the anti-seizure meds. Don't get the wrong idea, I am not totally opposed to treating her, it just hasn't felt right before now.

Careful What You Say

2009-04-23T22:45:00.002-06:00

When Barry and I were dating I made the mistake of telling him that I would be willing to "try new things". This statement has been used agaisnt me ever since. I will admit that I have had a lot of fun due to my husband throwing it in my face on a regular basis but (and this is a big but!) I have been scared to death more in the last 2 years then in my whole life! Because of this statement I have climbed a rock wall, ridden a street bike (with Barry), snowboarded, rollerbladed, riden a dirt bike (on my own) (ok so it was just down our road and I only got it into 2nd gear but still), swung off (or more like fell off) a rope swing, and many other things. The thing is I don't think my husband has any idea how hard it is for me to do these things. Once when we were snowboarding and he was trying to teach me something new (that I was scared for my life to try) he told me that I just needed "to get out of my comfort zone a little". I laughed because at that moment I realized that he had no idea how far out of my comfort I was to even have that crazy board strapped to my feet let alone allow him to haul me to the top of a mountain on a ski lift and drag me off. I had long ago surpassed my comfort zone when I got out of the car! Now if only I could get Barry to say something stupid like this!

Conference Weekend or In Other Words Our Weekend In SLC

2009-04-06T21:19:00.006-06:00

I love it when we get to listen to, meet with, and mingle with Elder Scott. He is such a wonderful person. He always finds some way to make you feel good about who you are. I'm certain that as a true apostle of the Lord he can look into your soul. What a great experience to stand at his side.

Bryan and Romina always get involved with the meeting. Romina makes the most delicious empanadas. Everyone loves them, this time someone else made some too and I don't even hesitate to say that Ro's were much much better. Baby Sammy also got to meet Elder Scott for the first time. Isn't she cute?!!

Little Addy also got to meet Elder Scott this conference weekend. It was fun to see her smile and flirt with others while we waited to meet and greet Elder Scott. What a cute family.

Stetson has come to the meeting with us about 4 times now. I think this is Justin's 2nd time and Cassidy was able to come for the 1st time this trip. She was excited to meet him and she truly enjoyed the meet and greet afterwards, especially the snacks!

This is the "Conference Bingo" game that Barry printed off for the kids. It was supposed to be used during conference but we improvised and created a game for the kids to entertain them while the men were off to the priesthood session. They had to answer a question in order to put a skittle on the card. If the got a "missionary" (bingo!) they were allowed to choose one of Brooke's special treats. Even with the questions you can see that they had a great time.

This is what the girls did all weekend, play dress up! They were pretending to be ballerina's. One good thing about cousins is no matter how long it is between visits, you can just start back up where you left off. Lookin' good Girls!

As opposed to ballerina's however our boys were our resident super heros. Not to worry they performed operation "save the baby" and played with the little ones too. Aren't our boys awesome!

All our amazing, handsome, men ready for preisthood, minus Todd as he met them there instead of going almost 2 hours early. We love you guys!

Barry of course was prepared for not only the 2 hour priesthood session but also for the hour and a half wait before hand. I love you Babe!!!

Sherry provided the eggs, and Brooke and Barry hid the eggs for our suprise Sunday before Easter, Egg Hunt- Here are all the kids waiting very paitently to come out of the house to look for eggs.

After finally getting out of the front door, they all had to line up and look for eggs according to age. Once again they are patiently waiting!

Hayden and his eggs!

Barry, Addy, and her egg! Happy First Easter Egg Hunt Addy!

Kerri found her two too!

Everyone found their alottment of 2 eggs each - afterall it wasn't Easter quite yet! It was fun to watch them get so excited about something so small.

On the way home Barry and the girls and I stopped to visit Lewis and Sheila. It was fun to visit even if we only had a little while. We'll have to go back again. We love you!

Ok so this is a crazy long Blog but it was a crazy fun weekend. Spritually lifting, relaxing, enjoyment of great company, great food, and a safe ride! As always Bryan and Romina made room for us in thier home and Todd and Suzy hosted their 2nd bi-annual conference breakfast. Next time we'll have to remember the camera for that event also. I think Brooke and Sherry got some pics though so don't forget to check their blog for breakfast pics. Thanks to everyone who helped car pool our family since we only had our car, you guys are awesome and I love you!!!

St. Patricks Day

2009-04-04T18:06:00.002-06:00

So I used to be really good about celebrating holidays with the kids and making a special dinner in honor of that particular day. I have gotten away from that but decided to try again last month for St. Paddy's day. Our menu consisted of: Green Mashed Potato Casserole, Green Beans, Green Salad with Green Ranch Dressing, Green Cabbage, and of course Corned Beef (not green), and Green Punch. We also had Cinnamon Breadsticks with Green Frosting for dessert. It was alot of fun and perhaps will get us back in the spirit of fun with the holidays.

Loads of Fun At Heber Valley Camp

2009-03-04T19:30:00.005-07:00

My parents have been serving a mission since April of 2008. They were called as service missionaries to the Hber Valley Youth Camp in Heber City Utah. It has been an amazing experience for them. The camp is for the Young Women of the church although on weekends and in the winter scouts and families use it also. At this point it can support about 3000 campers and when it is done it will be able to support around 5000. The camp is beautiful in all seasons. I was able to visit for the afternoon this summer and all of us (except Justin) visited this past weekend. It was so much fun. Although we were told that lots of the snow had melted there was still plenty and we did a lot of sledding. It was super great to see my parents and spend some time with them. Other then sledding we also played card games, ate, and even just sat around and talked. We didn't have alot of time there, we left after work on Friday and arrived just after midnight. We played all day Saturday. Went to church on Sunday and got home after midnight on Sunday. We hope to go again sometime this summer and enjoy the camp when you can see lots and lots of wildlife. Here are a few pics from our adventures.<

a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_qAozqPhfejQ/Sa87i-d7S3I/AAAAAAAAAPY/6YK5x-zOifg/s1600-h/Heber+Valley+044.jpg">

Even though I'm already in trouble....

2009-02-23T13:01:00.005-07:00

So I got the word from Treyton this weekend that I have done lots of posts about Cassidy lately, but nobody else. He said I needed to do one about the other kids. Hes right and I will get on that as soon as I can but I thought some of you might want to see what her rash looks like. I sent these the neurologist this morning. Keep in mind that this is still a "very mild" case and that she has been on benedrayl since Thursday.

No more cast but.....

2009-02-20T13:34:00.002-07:00

Yesterday was a long awaited day for Cassidy. She got to come to the office and have her cast removed after six weeks (if you ask her six very long weeks). Since I was working yesterday my sister dropped her off at the office after school. When she came she very nonchalantly says "oh by the way I broke out into hives today" Apparently they had been doing a rehearsal for the 5th grade program at school and she had been wearing a shawl. She and the teacher assumed it was just a reaction to that and didn't worry to much, my sister who works at the school even supplied a little Benydral for her. The problem was the shawl only covered her arms and she had spots all over her body. Not only that but they weren't itchy at all as hives generally are. Now I'm not sure anybody remembers but in my last post I mentioned that the anti-seizure med Cass is on can cause horrible rashes that can even put kids in the burn unit. My mother/nurse worries were raised when I saw the rash. Luckily I work for a doctor and we just happened to be in his office. He declared it to indeed be the beginning of a lamictal rash and said to stop the med immediately. The interesting part is Cass is still taking a very small dose of the medicine. She is working her way up to taking 100mg in the morning and another 100mg before bed. Now she is only taking 25mg morning and night. So the dose is not even half what she should be taking. As was suggested I didn't give her the evening dose and put a call into her neurologist and she agreed. Cass is not to take any more med until the day before we see the doctor in a few weeks and then she will take one 25mg dose the night before we go in. Cross your fingers and say your prayers that they find something that works without horrible side effects. The good thing about lamictal is that it has very few side effects and the rash is very very rare! Oh Cassidy what are we going to do with you!!!!

Cassidy - Updates

2009-02-06T10:57:00.004-07:00

Cassidy had another EEG on Tuesday the 3rd. This required her to stay up all night Monday night. She did really well with this and didn't complain about being tired until about 7:30am. We watched several movies and she played with her webkinz online. Barry stayed up with us and it was actually kind of fun. We then visited with Dr. Vance yesterday. This second EEG confirmed what she was thinking. Cassidy does indeed have epilepsy. She has been diagnosed with Complex Partial Seizures. Although I have not witnessed one of these type, and believe me I have been watching, the Dr. said they are not always visible but the test shows she is having them. They were even able to catch two brief episodes of seizure activity on the EEG. Dr. Vance has put her on a "new generation" of anti-convulsives call Lamactil. The side effects of this are supposed to be pretty mild. This drug can also be used to treat Bi-polar disorder. The most common side effect is drowsiness although there can be a rash that puts kids into the burn unit. I initially panicked about this but was assured that this generally happens when it is combined with additional seizure meds, (which is not happening)or when the dose is started high. Cassidy is actually starting at 25mg a day and the base dose is 200mg a day so this shouldn't be a problem. We are starting low and building slow so she won't even be at the base does for about 6 weeks. Dr. Vance said some docs would move faster then this but she believes in playing it safe, which I fully agree with. Cassidy should start her meds on Saturday. This is certainly not what I was hoping for, I was hoping that they would say it had all been a big mistake and we should just go on with our merry lives. Well we do get to go on with our lives, just a little sidetracked. I have prayed alot about this and although it scares me I do have peace with it. Its funny how you can feel peace about something that scares you to death. It's certainly not the worst thing that could happen though and definitely something she can live with and through. Cassidy is such a sweetheart, I hope she knows how much I love her and how much praying I have done over this. My peace comes a great deal from that and from the priesthood blessing she had that told her all would be well. Thanks to all of you for your prayers on both of our behalf, mothers need at least as much as the kid they are worried about.

My Job

2009-01-28T12:11:00.002-07:00

So since I have been at my job for a few months now I thought it might be a good time to share how I feel about it. Truth be told, I love my job. I enjoy the girls I work in the office with, I think I work for a great doctor, and the hours are fairly awesome. I can admit that all through school I just assumed I would be working at the hospital in the Labor and Delivery Unit. I love pregancy and delivery and all that sort of stuff. It seemed like the perfect place to work and I knew it would be something I would enjoy. As school came to an end and the need to hunt for a job became a reality Barry and I began to realize that working 12 hour shifts would not work with our family and I was somewhat sad to think I would not get to work with the moms and babies. Just after school got out I took some time off to simply enjoy my kids for a while, I didn't even open a book for a whole week. Then it was back to the grind again as I studied for the NCLEX. I passed my boards in September and began to look for a job. I really didn't look that hard in the beginning because I was enjoying being at home so much. Then came October and the news that with the down turn in the economy that Barry would not be getting any more overtime. After reviewing our finances over the weekend we knew the time for me to go to work had arrived. I started looking for a job more agressively that Monday. On Thursday I was interviewd and hired at Dr. Hopkins office. It felt like such an answer to our prayers. It may sound silly but I had been praying that I could get a job that had the hours we needed plus some of the hospital nursing experience that I wanted. Dr. Hopkin is a family doctor as we cover everything from peds, to OB, to geriatrics, he even has a fantastic weight loss program. I get to go up to the hosptial with him sometimes to deliver babies, the other day I saw him deliver a 11 lb 1 oz baby (by c-section of course!). I get to give all kinds of shots and draw blood. I even get to do IV's when I work on a scope day. The stress is usually quite low and its' fun to get to know the patients when we see them on a regular basis. There have been some interesting things happen and sometimes you learn more about a person's life then you ever wanted or cared to know but often thats when we laugh the hardest. Anyway just thought I'd let you know that things are going well here at the office (I'm actually at work waiting for the drug reps to bring us lunch as I type this). Also I'll post more news about Cassidy as we recieve it. Thanks for all your prayers as always the are being answered!

If It's Not One Thing It's Another

2009-01-23T20:58:00.002-07:00

Just before spud harvest as I was helping Cassidy get ready for school she had a seizure. Although I took her to the doctor I was told that it wasn't a big deal and I shouldn't worry about it. It wasn't long after that when I started working for Dr. Hopkin and it was also time for Cassidy to have her yearly check-up with Dr. Meyers at Primary Children's. I posted earlier about that visit and how they have decided that Cassidy will need surgery in about two years to correct the birth defects that she has in her rib cage. In order to see Dr. Meyers I needed to get a referral so I took her to see Dr. Hopkin. During that visit it came out that she had, had a seizure earlier in the fall. He was fairly surprised that we hadn't done any testing on her and suggested that when we got back from SLC we should look further into it. Early in November Cassidy had an EEG and for unknown reasons we did not get the results of that test until the beginning of this month, and the results were abnormal. I couldn't understand the results very much but they said something about her left occipital lobe not firing at the same rate as the rest of her brain. And Dr. Vance (the pediatric neurologist) suggested that she have an MRI. That was conducted the next Monday and today we went to see Dr. Vance to see what she thought, it turned out to be a 4 hour visit. Cassidy has been diagnosed with Epilepsy. Although she hasn't had any obvious seizures since early this fall there is still evidence in her brain that there are indeed some problems. I'll be honest, although I sat through the 4 hour dicussion I am simply overwhelmed by all that I was told and also a great portion of it simply was way over my comprehension, so I will not even make an attempt to reexplain all that she said. Cass will be having a second EEG on the 3rd of February to try and better determine what kind of medication she will need. I was hoping we could avoid that route as long as she doesn't have another one but Dr. Vance is quite sure about her needing to be medicated soon. As for me as a Mother I am still trying to accept that something might just be wrong with my baby girl. Oh by the way did I mention that about two weeks ago she fell on the ice at school and broke her arm? The last few months have been kind of crazy with Cass but I hope she knows how much I love her. Keep her in your prayers.

What Color Crayon is Barry?

2008-12-18T21:32:00.002-07:00

I thought it would be fun to see how Barry and I compared so I had Barry do the crayon quiz. Although he thought it was a little silly he answered the questions and this is the result.

You Are a Purple Crayon

Your world is colored in dreamy, divine, and classy colors.

You hold yourself to a sky high standard, and you are always graceful.

People envy, idolize, and copy you without realizing it. You are an icon for those who know you.

And while it is hard to be a perfectionist, rest assured it's paying off!

Your color wheel opposite is yellow. While yellow people may be wise, they lack the manners and class needed to impress you.

What Color Crayon Are You?

What do you think? Is Barry purple or should he try again. Although, in my opinion, it doesn't describe him perfectly it does do a pretty good job.

Thankfulness M, N, O.....

2008-12-17T10:25:00.005-07:00

"The Ocean"

"Moms and Mom-in-laws"
"Noise"

M - Moms and Mom-in-laws
I have been blessed with the best mother in the world, some of you may beg to differ but really it is true. My Mom is one of my best friends in the whole world. I have missed her so much since she and my dad have been on their mission. I am incredibly proud of both of them for what they are doing and yet I still miss having her close. She is a great grandma and is a great example to all the grand kids. My Mom had always been there to support me and love me through my decisions whether or not I made the right one. I can remember even as a teenager looking forward to telling her how my day had gone. I hope to someday be half as smart as she is and I pray that my children will feel the same about me as I do about her. I love her so very much! Thanks Mom for everything!
I have also been blessed with a wonderful Mother-in-law. There are snide remarks, jokes, and even entire TV shows based on having a bad mother-in-law but I have the exact opposite situation. Sherry has gone out of her way to show support for Barry and I and is always willing to help us with the kids. She is a wonderful Mother to my husband and a fabulous grandma to our kids. We love living in the same town and ward as them, it's wonderful to have grandparents close by. Thanks Sherry, I love you!

N -
Noise and Naps
I am sure that some of you are thinking that noise is a very strange thing to be grateful for and I'll be honest, I am not always grateful for it. If you have ever spent much time at our house, especially when we have all 9 of or kids there, you will know that we have a fairly noisy household. Occasionally when we are all around the dinner table and there are 4 or 5 fairly loud conversations all happening at the same time and food is being passed and moved around I get a little overwhelmed at the intensity of your little family. On the other hand, not so long ago I imagined that I would never be happy again, but my life is truly amazing. Many times over the past few years I have stopped and taken stock of the events in my life and asked myself, "How can this be my life?" It's funny but I do it even more often now only the question is much more positive, "How can this be my life?" I am so blessed. I have a firm testimony of the Gospel, I have a wonderful husband who not only loves me but respects me and has earned my trust, I have been blessed with not 2 or 4 or even 6 wonderful, noisy, and amazing children but 9 of them. I have been blessed with a great education and now a job that I truly enjoy. True there is much noise in my life but that noise serves to remind me how wonderfully blessed my life has become.
I have also come to enjoy a nap. Occasionally Barry and I are able to sneak a nap in. I love it. Today during lunch at the office I was able to close my eyes just for a few moments and get a quick 10 minute nap. So refreshing. Sometimes when my alarm goes off I hit snooze which gives me 8 short minutes to grab a quick nap. My favorite of course are those with my husband but I'll take what I can get.

O -
Oxygen and the Ocean
Ok I'll admit it some letter are harder to find words for then others. But lets face it without Oxygen we would all be, well for lack of a better word, dead. So each day I will be thankful for the air I breath that contains enough oxygen to feel my lungs and then carry it on my red blood cells to each and every portions of my body! And I do love the ocean, when we were in California for Christmas last year we spent part of Christmas day on the beach. It was a little chilly but fun nonetheless. I am sure the kids had a great time even though there was a little whining about how cold it was.

Elementary School Christmas Program

2008-12-14T23:02:00.003-07:00

Things have been busy lately as we all try to prepare for this Holiday season, a big part of that was the Christmas program at the Elementary school. For those of you who don't know Barry's mom Sherri is the PE teacher at the Elementary school here in town and is in charge of the Christmas program each year. She always does and amazing job and once again she out did herself this year. Rachel and Ammon were both in it. I couldn't see Rachel very good most of the time and the dance that I filmed on the camera is somehow lost on the computer but as soon as I find it I will post some more pictures. Barry's sister Brooke, her husband Dan, and their baby Addy played the parts of Mary, Joseph, and Jesus and did a great job. Here are a few pics from that event.

Copying Chantelle

2008-12-14T22:58:00.003-07:00

I have decided that these little quizzes to find out more about yourself are fairly intersting. Chantelle is a green crayon. You'll have to look at her blog to decide if you think that is accurate for her or not. Here is the results I recieved.

You Are a Blue Crayon

Your world is colored in calm, understated, deep colors.

You are a loyal person, and the truest friend anyone could hope to find.

On the inside, you tend to be emotional and even a bit moody.

However, you know that people depend on you. So you put on a strong front.

Your color wheel opposite is orange. Orange people may be opinionated, but you feel they lack the depth to truly understand what they're saying.

What Color Crayon Are You?

Check it out and see what color you are!

Just copying Brooke!

2008-12-10T13:33:00.004-07:00

Since Brooke is Mulan I decided I just had to know who I would be. I suppose with our 9 kids Snow White and all those dwarfs makes sense!

You Are Snow White!

Pure and trusting. You are a gentle soul who can get along with just about anyone. Everyone you meet instantly falls in love with you. How can they resist? You have a pure, lovable nature that' s center.
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Which Disney Princess Are You?

Thanksgiving Letters

2008-11-25T00:04:00.005-07:00
I started this post a while ago and just got back to add the pictures. For some reason it is not letting me move them around, so you'll have to guess which one goes to which letter. I didn't even come close to finishing the alphabet during November but decided that I would keep going until I got to the end even if it takes me a few months, after all I should be thankful all year and not just during November right??? Anyway here it is -

J
Justin and Jeans
With the letter J comes our son Justin. Justin recently turned 13 and it seems he is rather pleased with being a teenager. He is obviously a good-looking kid and a darn fine wrestler too. He has curls that most girls would pay top dollar for, a sweet smile, and a good personality to boot. Justin is fun to be around and can always make me laugh, he reminds me of his father! I am truly grateful that he has become my son. I am also glad to live in a day when it is acceptable for a woman to where something besides a dress. Now don't get me wrong I enjoy wearing a dress from time to time and it is mighty nice to get all dolled up now and again and feel like a lady, but by far and wide I love wearing a good old pair of jeans. Of course I am quite content to let Barry wear the pants in the family!

K -
Kerri and Kittens
Our littlest child is my sweet little Kerri. I may be slightly biased but I happen to think she is pretty darn cute. Kerri is 4 1/2 years old and has recently started preschool. Kerri is quick with a smile and always has a hug, she loves her brothers and sisters and always tells me she misses me when I have been gone for an hour or so. I am glad that I am her mother. These days we are grateful for kittens. It only took us a year or so to convince Barry that the kids needed a pet. We got our little Missy during spud harvest and she has been growing like a weed ever since. She is fun to hold and play with, she especially likes to play with the lazer light.

L -
Love, Life, and Laughter
What would life be without love and laughter and of course with out life we wouldn't even be here so I am letter L gets at least three things. I have learned that sometimes in life we have to laugh or cry and laughing often feels better. It sounds silly but I love, love. I love to be loved and I love showing love for others. It is truly wonderful to wake up in the night and know that the person you love is lying right there beside you. It still amazes me that this man loves me as much as I love him. Life is Good!

Our weekend in Utah

2008-11-18T08:49:00.004-07:00

Cassidy and I had a great time this weekend. It started out on Friday with us traveling to Idaho Falls and picking up my very good friend April and then we continued on to Utah. April and I have been friends for a long time and my children all love her dearly. She is getting married in Atlanta, Georgia over thanksgiving weekend but received her endowments this Saturday. I was privileged to be her escort and totally enjoyed the experience. It was my first time at the SLC temple and experiencing a live session and I found it awesome. I am not sure I have ever met anybody as excited to go to the temple and partake of the blessings there as much as April. She has waited a long time for this day, I think she has longed for it ever since her
baptism. I am not sure if Cory knows how blessed he is to be getting April for a wife. She truly is a wonderful person. Along with the photos from this I am going to post a few from April's bridal shower just because the are funny.

Some of you may be wondering why I dragged Cassidy along for this trip but it was twofold in purpose. Cassidy also had an appointment with Dr. Rebekah Meyers at Primary Children's Hospital on Monday. Cassidy was born with a fairly common birth defect. It is called Pectus Excavatum (not sure on the spelling) this simply means that she has a sunken chest or that her sternum sinks instead of being straight. Along with this she as a more rare from of the same defect called Pectus Karunatum (really not sure on the spelling). When children to get this defect it usually affects boys and it is rare for a girl to have it, even more rare for a girl to the combination of the problem that she has. The good news is that for the most part it is simply cosmetic and can be covered if you are careful about the collars on the shirts you buy. This was our third visit with Dr. Meyers and this time she confirmed that Cass will indeed require surgery to repair the defect. Remember how I said usually it is simply cosmetic? Well the combination that Cassidy has can cause pressure on the heart and also extreme pain with exertion and exercise. Dr. Meyers said that the best time to do this surgery is about the time a child hits the growth spurt at the beginning of puberty. She wants to see Cassidy again when she is 13 and will then set the surgery date. This is a fairly large surgery, basically open heart surgery without touching the heart. It involves separating the cartilage from the sternum, clipping a small piece off along each rib, pushing the sternum either up or down as needed, and then reconnecting each rib (or at least the cartilage) with wire. Yeah, it is a big deal! They said she would spend at least a week in at Primary's in recovery. We took a few pics of Cass in the doctors office it was a really cute room but does little to show what a great hospital primary's really is. If she has to have this surgery I am glad that it will be a such a wonderful place. I am so glad we have two years before we have to worry about it too much. All in all it was a great weekend. We had a great time at Brian and Romina's as usual. They are always so kind to let us stay with them. What a great little family they are.

Thankful...

2008-11-18T07:53:00.005-07:00
G -
Granparents and Gifts - First of all I am very thankful for Grandparents, my children are so very blessed to have amazing grandparents. Each and everyone is a great example of how to live not only the gospel but good lives in general. Our children always have someone to turn to. Each of them is still married to the person they married in the Temple years ago, in this world that is quite and accomplishment. Our family is shown love and support by each set of grandparents in their own way. At this time in my own life I am a grandparent orphan and I am glad that my children still have 3 sets of grandparents plus some great-grandparents as well. This picture from Ammon's baptism is the only one I could find with all three sets of grandparents in it. The next thing I am grateful for is gifts and I am not putting a plug in for Christmas. I am thinking more on the spiritual side. My spouse, children, and family of course are incredible gifts that my Father in Heaven has given to me, but I am also blessed in so many other ways. The gift of knowledge in school, the gift of friends, the gift of the gospel, I could go on and on but you see where I am going. Sometimes in my life I forget to look at all the gifts I have been given and focus instead on what I don't have, I am glad for this reminder because I am truly, truly blessed.
H -
Hayden and Husbands
Ok so my son Hayden is a great kid. He just turned 10 years old so he gets to celebrate in double digits from now on. I have enjoyed getting to know Hayden over the past few years and have fallen in love with him. He has a sweet personality and always has a hug if you simply ask for one. If you work beside him you he will work all day long. Hayden almost always has a smile on his face and is generally happy. I am grateful for his presence in my life. I have already mentioned Barry but I can't help but pass up the letter H without thinking of my husband. This weekend for example I spent the weekend with Cassidy in SLC and Barry stayed home with 6 children under the age of 10. He had two giant homework assignments, a wrestling match, took care of the nursery, and didn't even complain about the kids. He even took them swimming at Green Canyon all by himself. How great is he?! I know it is a blessing to have him in my life. I don't pretend hes perfect but he comes fairly close in so many ways. Love you!!!
I -
In-laws and immunizations-
There are all kinds of jokes and even TV shows dedicated to making fun of in-laws. I have absouletly nothing to complain about, I am blessed with wonderful in-laws. Bryce and Sherry haved showed so much love and support for Barry and I and or decision to marry and join our families right from the beginning. They have accepted my children as their grandchildren and treat me as a daughter. I can't even begin to list the many things they have done for us to help us in the last year. With my own parents gone on a mission I am not sure what I would do without the Holmans in my life. Thanks for everything you guys. I am also grateful for the blessing of immunizations. I never had to live my life without this great blessing so I am sure I don't truly appreciate it. It is one of those things like running water, electricity, cars, the phone, things that I don't usually think about but that I am glad to have in my life.

More to be thankful for....

2008-11-12T13:32:00.003-07:00
My thankful list continues.....
D -
Dads and Dates - I have personally been blessed with one of hte most wonderful Dads in the world. He has always been a great example to each of us kids and continues to be that way for his grandkids. I have always been able to count on him when I needed a priesthood blessing and could always trust his opinion. I am also grateful to Barry's Dad and the love and support that is constantly shown to us. Our house looks beautiful thanks to Bryce we are truly blessed. Another Dad that I am thankful for is Barry, he is a wonderful father to each of our 9 children. When we were dating this was something I noticed away, the first time we went out in fact and it is just one of the many things I love about him. The next D thing I am thankful for is dates. I loved dating Barry before we were married and I still love going out with him. We don't get out on our own too often due to our crazy life with our 9 crazy children but when we do it always helps us renew our love for each other. I love all these great men in my life.
E -
The Ensign and Events - When I was a little girl I could never understand why my parents wanted to read the Ensign. It just seemed like a bunch of boring church stuff. Now that I to am a grown-up I have discovered my own love for this wonderful magazine. The articles are truly inspiring and I especially love the conference issues. I also love and am thankful for Events both big and small. This weekend we got to attend the blessing of Brooke and Dan's sweet baby Addy and it was fun to get together with family members. We have also had the blessing of having my parents home from their mission for a few days and have enjoyed having them around. I enjoy going to school events for the kids and the primary program at church. Graduation a few weeks ago was of course a big event in my life. All of these events remind me how blessed I am to be wife, mother, sister, daughter, Aunt, cousin, neice...
F -
Family, Friends, and Faith - I had a hard time narrowing this one down so I just went with three! I have a wonderful family. This includes the one I was born into, the one I am raising, my married into family, and even the family I am no longer a part of. I have always been taught that family is the fundamental unit of society and I hold this as a precious truth. Without my family I would not be the person I am today, who knows what kind of person I would be without them. I have also been blessed with wonderful friends. A few of which came into my life at very pivotal moments in my life. I have a the priviledge of attending the temple with one of those friends this weekend and consider that a great honor. I am truly thankful for friends who push me in the right direction and encourage me to reach for things I don't feel capable of. Last but not least is faith, the hope for things not seen. I have a great faith in my Father in Heaven, I know that with His help, I can accomplish anything. This has been proven to me time and again in the last few years especially. Even when things don't seem to be going the way we want them to, we can have faith that the Lord is watching over us and has a plan, we just have to wait sometimes to see what it is.

Lots to be Thankful for...

2008-11-11T21:24:00.007-07:00
So sometimes when I am checking out a fellow bloggers blog I am somewhat nosy and I check out the people they have linked also, in doing that this week I have noticed several people blogging about being thankful. Since this is the month in which we celebrate our thanks I thought I would copy those other bloggers and do this myself. The pattern has been to mention something for each letter of the alphabet so I will do the same. I will do this in a series of blogs throughout the month. Here goes -

A - I am thankful for Ammon (my son) and Angels - First Ammon, he is nine years old and I can hardly believe how grown up he is getting. It seems like just yesterday he was a tiny little bundle of sweetness and now he is almost too big for me to lift. I love him very much and am quite honored to be his mother. He was named after one of my favorite Book of Mormon heros and I hope he becomes as a great a man as this hero of mine. Next Angels, this has been mentioned in a couple of other posts, but I too have felt the precence of angels throughout my life and particularly in some difficult moments. I know we are watched over and cared for by those on the other side of the veil and for this I am grateful.

B - I am thankful for Barry and Books - I am thankful for my wonderful sweet husband Barry. There are so many things I could say about this amazing man. So many of the songs on our blog remind me of him. Everyday and The Broken Road both by Rascal Flatts are two of them. Listen to the words to these songs if you get a chance they are perfect for how I feel about him. He makes my life a little better each and every day, my favorite place to be is in his arms. I don't know what I would do without him, Thanks for everything my love! I also have a great love of reading. I love lots of different types of books. Of course The Book of Mormon is right up there, this year I am also trying to read the Bible for the first time by myself. I have to admit I love the sappy romance stuff and some mystery. I love Harry Potter, and more recently the Twilight series. I loved the Work and the Glory and have read all of The Great and Terrible series except the last one. I can read for hours and not get tired of it, but I must admit I am not sad to be done with textbooks!

C - I am thankful for Cassidy and Children - Cassidy of course is my first born and our oldest daughter. I have always wanted to be a mother and Cassidy was the initial fulfillment of those dreams. She is almost 11 years old and can't wait to be a teenager. I hope to be her best friend and confidant. Shis is beautiful and I am proud to be her mom. I also have a great love for all children. I love my calling in the nursery and enjoy working with the children who come into the doctors office. I have always wanted a big family with lots of children and I have been blessed to have that dream come true. I love each and every one of the children in our family and feel it a priviledge and a pleasure to be considered thier mom. I love you guys!

I've Been Tagged!

2008-11-07T20:15:00.002-07:00
The rules of being tagged -

1. Link the Person who Tagged you.

2. Mention rules on your blog.

3. Tell about 6 quirks of yours.

4. Tag 6 fellow bloggers to do the same.

5. Leave a comment to let them know.

So I've been tagged by my sister-in-law Brooke to tell about 6 of my quirks. I've been thinking about this for a couple of days now and I'm having a hard time coming up with something. I suppose I'll have to enlist a little help from Barry and the kids. Here goes.

Quirk #1 I started noticing this habit during my psych nursing class When I am stressed or concentrating a lot I have a habit of rubbing my index finger in a circular motion on the pad of my thumb, the medical field calls this "pill rolling" and it can be a sign of mental illness, yeah that did make me a little nervous. The only thing that makes me feel better is I remember my Grandma Brown doing this when she was old, so maybe it is genetic, wait maybe that doesn't make me feel better!

Quirk #2 This one is Barry's idea; it is slightly embarrasing but it is also true and I suppose it could be considered a quirk. I tend to have a lot of gas! Of course I try not to do it in public but my loving husband gets to experience it more often then he thinks is appropriate for a girl.

Quirk #3 This one won't be shocking for any of you since you are all aware that I talk way too much. I have tried to work on this many times (by attempting to not talk so much) but it often seems that I have diarrhea of the mouth and seems to simply be a part of who I am. I'll probably be the little old lady who no one wants to visit because she talks too long.

Quirk # 4 Some people have the quirk of being squeamish about others feet. I am not at all which seems to be a quirk of sorts. I actually tend to enjoy rubbing feet and they don't gross me out at all. I suppose this works out well for my spouse although he doesn't get to enjoy it as often as I would like him too.

Quirk #5 This quirk I have discovered fairly recently, I really enjoy giving shots. I am always nervous that I will hurt the person and I don't want to do that. But there is some sort of weird thrill that comes with giving shots. Along the same lines I like starting IV's. I only get to do it a couple times a week in my job and I am still really nervous about it but at the same time I get this jump of excitement each time I do it successfully, that little flash of blood in the chamber is just cool!

Quirk #6 I don't know if this can truly be considered a quirk or not but my spouse sure thinks it is. I love to read. I think everyone of us has a tendency to be addicts of some kind or another and this appears to be mine. I can escape into a book for hours. The problem is I tend to finish it in those hours and then it's over and I'm sad that I didn't make it last longer. I really like series books because they last longer. Recently I read the Twilight series and finished all four of them in about 10 days. This was of course while taking care of my husband, children, and house. Truly I think I am addicted to reading, sometimes I have to impose a limit on myself.

Now I have to tag, the slight problem with that is I'm not sure I have 6 different people on my blog! Anyways I tag: Krista, Carmell, Sherri (yes you have to do it yourself), Holly, Romina (it's time to post that blog my friend!), and Chantelle! Have fun girls!

I have a Job!!

2008-10-24T08:16:00.002-06:00
So yesterday I happened to run into Mitchell Brady, a fellow nursing student, and he suggested that I turn in a resume to Dr. Hopkin's office here in Rexburg. He said he wasn't sure if they were hiring but he knew they were accepting resumes. I almost didn't take it in because everywhere is accepting resumes but that doesn't mean they are hiring. I took it in though and they asked if I could wait a minute. I did and was interviewed and offered a job right on the spot! I start Monday. Thanks Mitchell!!

A Good Ol'Southern Pig Pick'in!

2008-10-19T20:58:00.005-06:00
So this weekend we celebrated the marriage of my brother Charlie and his new life with his sweet wife Lisa. They were married about a month ago and we all gathered this weekend to show them our support and love. My little brother Jason was in charge of the pig. Keep in mind that my family is from the amazing southern state of North Carolina and when we say we're cook'n a pig we aren't kidding. The Brown's love the fat and skin and all that greasy goodness despite the odd looks of new comers. For dinner we had BBQ'd pig (of course), hush puppies (deep fried corn bread), cole slaw, and pork and beans along with all sorts of sugary sweet things for dessert. We all had a great time visiting and eating and just enjoying each others company.
This is my mom slaving away over a hot dutch oven of oil frying up hush puppies. See that red bowl of mixture? Well each hush puppy is about a tablespoon or so of batter and she made two of those full. There were only about 10 left over! They really are that good.
This is Jason supervising the pig. He built this cooker himself and hauls it all over cooking for people. He is quite awesome at it and has become skilled at southern BBQ sauce. This is different then the regular sauce you can buy at the store. It is mostly vinegar and can be very spicy. The boys all like to drown their pig in it but I prefer just a little. My personal favorite is a well cooked piece of skin with a good layer of crispy fat on the back of it; Good stuff!
Dancing with Barry was one of the best parts of the evening. As you might imagine we don't get out real often for time with just the two of us and this was especially sweet for me. He really is a wonderful husband.
Charlie spent some time twirling Cameron around the dance floor. I think most of the parents spent more time dancing with their children then they did with their spouse but it was still good times just being together. In case you are wondering that is indeed the head of a pig being BBQ'd!

This is Charlie and Lisa dancing the night away in their garage. They are so cute together!
I was trying to dance with my own husband but kept getting interrupted by my jealous little Kerri so I spent a few songs swaying with her so she would consent to letting Barry have "his turn".

This is my dad keeping an eye on all that was going on and of course giving us all a bit of advice. Where would we be without wonderful parents?
I have such a great family! All of us were there this time except Jim and Brenda who live in Arkansas. We missed you guys! We don't get together as much as we should, I guess we are all just busy but it is great when we do take the time to gather as a family and just hang out. Love you guys!

Parenthood

2008-10-17T09:27:00.004-06:00
So I have wanted to be a parent for as long as I can remember. I can remember being 5 or 6 years old and wanting to hold the babies at church. I pretended to be a mom and played with dolls long after most girls my age had given them up. I imagined what it would be like to be a mother and hold my very own baby. After spending a year in New York as a nanny to three sweet little boys I was sure I knew what being a mom was all about. Boy was I wrong! Don't get me wrong I love being a mother, it is in fact a great joy in my life (right under being a wife!) The thing is being a parent is much different then I imagined it being. Better in many ways but still different. It seems like each day something happens that in all my imagination I could not have thought of. Little things like my 4 year old telling me she would like another "dump" of cereal. "I already had 2 dumps", she said, "can I have 3?" I am sure you can imagine what I thought she was referring to, luckily I realized before too long that she was simply asking me to pour her some more cereal from the bag. Kids do say the darndest things. My sisters 4 year old asked her the other day if she could go to her friends house for "a couple of laters". These moments are some of the great parts of parenting, in any given ordinary day you get to remember to laugh, which is a great help in life. Another thing I never imagined about parenting is anything much beyond babyhood. My children are growing and changing and certainly have minds of their own and guess what - I can't control what they think or do! Believe me if you are not a parent yet this will come as a surprise several times in your future. Sometimes they act crazy in public, do things that were not learned by example, and even embarrass you. This week Ammon (9 years old) decided at the dentists office that he was not going to cooperate. For whatever reason he discovered in his mind it would not be worth it for him to lie still and open his mouth. He only needed a few cavities fixed to have his teeth cleaned but he absouloutly refused to listen. Because of this he will be going to the surgery center this morning and having his dental work done under general anesthesia. I have several thoughts on this. First I am a nurse so I am aware that anesthesia carries some risks I am also aware that it is quite safe. Second I was embarassed by my sons behavior and wanted to force him to behave. There are third and fourth thoughts but sufficite to say I am not thrilled by the events of today. Hopefully all will go well and he will realize that all in all it would be worth it to just cooperate with the dentist next time. Instead of an hour or so of uncomfortableness at the dentist office he gets: fasting since last night (not his favorite thing), an IV today (even less of a good idea in his mind), several hours at the surgery center, and last but not least he knows I am less then thrilled with his behavior. What does all this mean? Simply that once again I feel at a loss as a parent, what is the best thing for me to do? How are you supposed to react to your children? It's a good thing that you love them! Anyone have any suggestions?

Conference Weekend

2008-10-06T14:28:00.004-06:00
Once again we had the amazing experience of meeting with Elder Scott during Bryce's mission reunion. This time was particularly special because we had the opportunity to help celebrate Elder Scott's 80th birthday with him. We have never taken the camera with us but decided we would this time. He is such a great guy. He takes the time to meet with each and every person at the meeting. Even though it is obvious that he is tired from having been in meetings all day and from traveling, he never acts like it. He smiles and greets and visits with all of us. In the Book of Mormon when Christ visits the Americas it talks about him taking the time to visit with each person who is at the temple that day. This is what the great Apostle of Christ reminded me of. I think this is the 5th time that Barry and I have had this opportunity, it has been a tradition for us since we started dating, and I hope we get to go as many times as possible. It truly is a testitmony stregthening experience to be in the presence of this great man. He gave us a little preview of what he would be speaking about in the priesthood session of conference and I can't wait for the Ensign to come out so I can read what he had to say. The things he said to us at this meeting made me want to be a better person, a better wife to my husband, and more worthy of the love that my sweet spouse offers me every day. I know that Elder Scott truly is an special witness of our Savior and that he testifies truthfulness. I love this gospel and all that it offers our families. What an amazing gift it is in all of our lives.
Elder Scott and his wife.

Barry and the boys and I with Elder Scott.
Elder Scott has a special place in his heart for Romina- and it's not just because of the 465 empanadas that she made for this birthday celebration!

Brian, Romina, Elder Scott, Justin, Stetson, Me, Barry.

Camping with Dad (Barry's Post)

2008-09-30T21:25:00.001-06:00

Memories of School!

2008-09-30T14:23:00.001-06:00

New Additions

2008-09-30T13:35:00.000-06:00

First of all we'd like to welcome Addyson Lou Sttodard to the family. Congratulations to Brooke and Dan, both sets of grandparents, lots of Aunts and Uncles. and even more cousins! We are all thrilled that you are here, healthy, and you are well loved.

Look how tiny she is! I was very much enjoying being an Aunt!

Cassidy LOVES babies, I think she would have sat like this all day!

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Now we'd like to welcome our own new little addition. This may come as a surprise to some of you but we were finally able (slightly agaisnt his will) to convince Barry to let us have a real pet. Rachel has ask for nothing but a cat for her birthday for the past 3 years. We finally gave in and although her birthday was on the 12th the kitten wasn't old enough to leave it's mom until yesterday. Since we are fairly certain that she is a girl we have chosen the name of Missy but just in case we are wrong she may just turn out to be a Mister! Either way almost everyone in our house is thrilled beyond measure by her arrival.

Boise Zoo Trip

2008-09-21T23:40:00.001-06:00

A Little Makeover Magic

2008-09-21T23:09:00.001-06:00

2 Little Letters

2008-09-21T08:36:00.000-06:00

Three years ago in August 2005 I was a divorced, single mom trying to figure out how in the world I would ever be happy again. I prayed and prayed that I would do what was best for my family. Then my life began to change for the better. I was accepted into BYU-I and began an education in January of 2006 that I was sure I would fail at. I prayed that I would pass but didn't really believe that I was capable of college. I met Barry one semester into my schooling in June 2006 and life was already alot better. I prayed about him being the right one, almost everyday after we began dating. Each semester my classes got harder and each semester I was sure that this time it was more then I could do. Take Anatomy and Phsyiology for example, I got a little crazy and took it on a block which meant 8 credits in 8 weeks, what was I thinking? I'm pretty sure I got a blessing about once a week during this class. I continued to pray that I would be able to do school and that I would not be a disappointment to my family. Each semester as I managed to pass my classes and even have a good GPA I was sure it would not last. But somewhere my confidence began to grow just a little. Eventually, after more fasting and prayer, to my utter shock and amazement I was accepted into the nursing program in April 2007. The first semester was fairly stressful as they try to weed people out by cramming your schedule so full that it seemed impossible to get it all done. Everyday I was sure I would fail out of the program and have to start again somehow and everyday I would pray that woudn't happend. Each week as I sat in the testing center I would pray for help on the test and each time it came. On July 21 2007 dreams came true as I was sealed to Barry in the Idaho Falls temple and life was a whole lot better. That fall I returned to school and realized that comparatively speaking the first semester had been a piece of cake. I am not sure how my husband and family stood to be around me as my stress level continued to climb but everyone just kept loving me and supporting me. How wonderful it was to simply ask my husband for a blessing instead of having to call someone else. Those of you (and there are quite a few in this family) who have been through the nursing program understand what I mean when I say: tests every week, early morning clinicals, SCENARIO, (it should be a 4-letter word), skills day, did I mention tests? I prayed like I have never prayed in my life! Well anyway it all added up to the final semester when we were required to pass the ATI in order to have our transcripts released after graduation in order to take the mother of all tests the NCLEX. The stress and pressure leading up to this test was unbelievable and I never imagined that I could pass it. Once again I turned to my Father in Heaven and begged for his help and support, and once again my miracles continued and somehow I did. Graduation and Pinning were 2 unbelievable moments in July of 2008 that I never allowed myself to believe would actually happen. I really did try to have faith but there was so much fear that I was not capable of all that I was doing. I took some time off after that and just enjoyed spending time with my children. I attempted to study a little each day but it didn't always happen. As the time to take the NCLEX drew near my stress once again began to climb. My prayers once again turned to pleading. The day finally arrived Thursday the 18th of September 2008, I had to be at the Pearson Vue testing center at 7:30am in order to begin my 8am test on time. I went to Boise for the test in order to spend some time with my baby sister and her family. We arrived at the testing center at 7am just to be sure we wouldn't be late. We sat in the car making small talk, me trying desperately to put off the moment when I would actually have to walk in. We offered up a final prayer because that moment was actually here. I walked into the center and began the process. When I finally was sitting in front of the computer I thought I was either going to pass out or throw up one of the two, thankfully neither happened. And I returned to my habit of praying before I began a test. All the fear and anxiety I had built up over this test was nothing compared to what it actually was. It seemed as if every question was something that I did not know. The multiple multiples were the worst by far. I tried not to look at the numbers because this just caused my stress level to climb. I looked down during question number 53 and wondered how many more I would have to take. The next thing I knew the screen went blank and the test was done. Wait I thought, give me another chance! I left the center with the sinking feeling that I had failed. I was sure of it. I prayed and told Heavenly Father that I would do better the next time, I would study more, pray more, whatever it took. 48 hours later the website confirmed that my test results were available. Mary convinced me that it would be worth it to look. I couldn't do it so she did it for me. I did not believe her when she told me I had passed. It seemed impossible. But like the scriptures say, Nothing is impossible for the Lord. So now I just want to say thank you although those 2 little words don't seem adequate to say all that is in my heart to those (especially family) who have loved and supported me, believed in and had faith in me when I didn't believe in myself, encouraged me, built me up, prayed and fasted for me, smiled at me, watched my children for me, tutored me, teased me, and simply helped me to believe in myself. So thank you everybody without your prayers this would never have happened. Heavenly Father truly is amazing! I have prayed so many prayers that this day would happen and it actually did. I love you all and can never appreciate you enough,
Karin Holman RN

California Trip 2

2008-09-16T08:24:00.001-06:00

California Trip 1

2008-09-15T22:19:00.001-06:00

Our Amazing Disneyland Trip

2008-09-15T07:44:00.000-06:00
Ok so this was last Christmas but I'm not sure how many people got to see our pictures since they are on our computer. We loaded up all nine kids in the suburban and headed out around 7pm. We spent the next day and night in Las Vegas with some good friends of mine (Tony and Carmell). We toured the Vegas strip with Carmell and the kids (Tony had to work) we had 15 kids under the age of 13! We decided that Barry looked like a very fertile poligamist, and yes we got some very strange looks. After that we headed up to California for an amazing week touring theme parks. We bought the city pass which allows you to spend 3 days between Disneyland and California Adventure, (we did 2 days at Adventure and only 1 at Disneyland)and 1 day at Hollywood Studio's, 1 day at San Diego Zoo,1 day at Sea World. And we spent Christmas day on the beach. We got up early each moring and had breakfast from the dollar menu at Macdonald's (by the time we came home most of us would have been happy to never see Macdonald's again!). We tried to get to the parks close to open time, we brought lunch each day and would play in the park until we were all starving and meet out in the parking lot for lunch. We would then go back to the park and not leave until the park closed or at least until after dark and the little ones were begging to go back to the hotel. We would cook dinner at the hotel and usually have to wake up several kids to eat. Christmas Eve we were at Hollywood and it was super nice weather, we wore T-shirts all day. Christmas Day wasn't quite as nice and it was the only day we did not go to a park. We spent time at the beach and in the pool at the hotel and just being lazy. We also cooked a nice Christmas dinner and just enjoyed being together.

Some of you might be wondering how our road trip there and back went with 9 kids. First of all let me just say that we have been blessed with good travelers. Second of all we took audio CD's and listened to stories the whole time. We also took portable DVD players but only watched 1 movie! We put a story in and everyone would remind everyone else to be quiet so they didn't miss anything. A couple of times Stetson fell asleep and would then beg us to rewind the story so he wouldn't miss anything.

Highlights: Kerri spent most of her trip in the stroller but she was able to ride most of the rides. I discovered that I do like roller-coasters and fast rides but I have to take Dramamine in order to enjoy them. Justin and Stetson were able to go off by thierselves a few times with the walkie-talkie, I think they enjoyed that. Hayden, Treyton, and Ammon loved the rides and everything but were totally disappointed when they were to short for the rides. Savannah and Rachel enjoyed the girlie rides at Disneyland and got thier faces painted at Hollywood Studio's. Cassidy enjoyed being big enough for the scary rides and was even brave enough to go on most of them. All the kids loved Sea World and tried thier hardest to get wet by the Killer Whales. We enjoyed feeding the Sea Lions although when the seagulls stole Stetson's food and the sea lion fishes he wasn't very impressed. Barry loved all the big rides and was the least impressed with the ride I loved the most (Soaring over California). All in all it was a great trip and we think we will visit California again sometime. Hope you all enjoy the pictures.

Our Nine Kids!

2008-09-09T07:51:00.000-06:00
So originally I was going to do an individual blog about each child and I had even finished one about each of the girls. But I decided I didn't want to go with that approach so I opted to do one with all of them in one.
1 - Stetson Blaze (Layne?) Holman
DOB: 5/8/94 = age 14

2 - Justin Andrus Holman
DOB: 10/2/95 = 13 (next month!)

3 - Cassidy Lucille Rice
DOB: 12/11.97 = 10

4 - Hayden Todd Holman
DOB: 11/4/98 = 9

5 - Ammon Jerrold Rice
DOB: 7/12/99 = 9

6 - Treyton Heber Holman
DOB: 12/7/99 = 8

7 - Rachel Linda Rice
DOB: 9/12/01 = 7 (Friday!)

8 - Savannah Bailey Holman
DOB: 5/6/02 = 6

9 - Kerri Lois Rice
DOB: 5/21/04 = 4

As you can imagine our home is often pretty crazy! You might be surprised to find out that it is not nearly as crazy as we imagined it could be. Since we both came from large families, having loads of children around is not new to either of us. Although we can be honest and admit that it is sometimes overwhelming we love being parents to each and everyone of these 9 wonderful children. As a mother I have always loved my children and as a step-mom I can honestly say that I have grown to love my new children as well. From the time I was a little tiny girl I wanted to be a mother and it would seem that my prayers have been answered, I have the big family that I've always wanted and it really couldn't be better. There is a reason for pretty much every song on our list and one in particular is dedicated to my children. It describes what I hope and dream for them better then I ever could. They've heard me say it every time it comes on the radio but it truly is our wish for the. The song is My Wish by Rascal Flatts. The words are:
I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you’re faced with the choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you
And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walkin’ ‘til you find the window
If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything
Chorus:My wish for you. Is that this life becomes all that you want it to. Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small. You never need to carry more than you can hold. And while you’re out there gettin’ where you’re gettin’ to, I hope you know somebody loves you. And wants the same things too. Yeah, this is my wish.
I hope you never look back but you never forget. All the ones who love you.
And the place you left, I hope you always forgive and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get. Oh, you find God’s grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take. But more than anything, yeah more than anything
Chorus: My wish for you. Is that this life becomes all that you want it to. Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small. You never need to carry more than you can hold. And while you’re out there gettin’ where you’re gettin’ to, I hope you know somebody loves you. And wants the same things too. Yeah, this is my wish. This is my wish I hope you know somebody loves you. May all your dreams stay big.

We sure love you guys!!

Our Nine Children

2008-09-08T17:34:00.001-06:00

Barry and Karin

2008-09-06T21:57:00.001-06:00

Barry and Karin

2008-09-04T21:34:00.000-06:00
So far we have done the four girls so I thought I'd take a break from the kids and put on a few of Barry and I. Barry and I started Dating in June of 2006. It was and is amazing to me how natural our relationship seemed to be. Right from the start it just seemed like we were meant to be together. For those of you who don't know, Barry and I went to high school, actually from elementary school on, together. We were friends at school but never really did anything outside of classes. Despite what he says about his autograph in my yearbook, writing "Call me sometime", does not constitute asking me out on a date! Especially when he didn't even leave his phone number! Anyway after we had both married, had kids, and divorced, we met through an LDS online dating website. I was already a member of a different site but a friend of mine suggested that I "check out" the one that she was using. I couldn't really afford the one I was already using so I wasn't about to pay for another but I figured that it wouldn't hurt to "check it out". For all of you who have never had to bother with these types of site you are not allowed to look at profiles unless you have one of your own and it doesn't cost to create one. Since I didn't really want to use this site I put the bare essentials on my profile (my age, that I had kids, and where I was from) and just looked around. This was on a Thursday. My kids happened to be with their Dad for the weekend so on Friday I spent the evening with my friend who was going through a pretty hairy divorce herself. I ended up staying until about 2 AM. When I got home I decided to check my email before I went to bed. To my surprise I had a message from the new website. Now here is where these websites suck you in for the money. You are allowed to see WHO sent you the message but not WHAT the message says. Of course I looked to see who sent me a message and I couldn't believe that his guy looked so much like this guy I had been to high school with. You don't use your real name of course but I also recognized his parents in his other pictures. Of course I had to see what he had written when I was convinced it truly was Barry Holman that I was looking at. It cost about $10 to sign up for a month of service, sadly this pushed my checking account over the limit and it ended up costing me about $100! I have to admit it was worth every penny! Barry's note was short and sweet, (since I had not put a picture of myself on the website, he didn't know who I was) he simply said that we seemed to have alot in common: our age, having kids, and where we were from, and that he would like to get to know me better. Without even thinking about it I sent a letter right back telling him who I was and giving him my phone number. I really didn't think he would remember me and I figured there was even less of a chance that he would call me if he did, so I figured that would be the end of that. The next morning (Saturday) at about 9AM he called! We talked for about 10 minutes about our kids and how weird it was that we were both divorced and that we hadn't seen or talked to each other since we had both graduated. Barry then asked me what I was doing for the rest of the day and I told him I was going to the Zoo, I left out of course that I was going on a blind date and let him assume that I was taking my kids there. We talked for a few more minutes and said good bye. I really thought I would never hear from him again. (once again I was wrong) My date lasted from about 10 untill just after 4 and although I had a good time I knew that I wasn't interested. I told the guy that I had been up late the night before and that I needed to get home and get some sleep. Imagine my surprise when I got home and there was a message on my answering machine from Barry telling me to call him when I got home. Of course I did call him and he invited me over to his house to watch a movie with him and his kids. I got lost trying to find his house and almost gave up but found it in the end and had a wonderful evening. We sat on the couch and talked and talked and talked. When I finally went home after midnight I couldn't believe what a good time I had. I was hoping he would call me again at some point but wasn't really counting on it. When I got home I knelt down and told Heavenly Father that I had a really good time and that I hoped he would call. Once again I was amazed when the next afternoon (Sunday) Barry called again and asked if he could stop by after he took his kids back to their moms house. I was nervous about him meeting my kids but it really smoothly and just before he ran off (literally he ran) to his car he gave me the quickest little peck on the lips I've ever had. The next day he met me up on campus for lunch and I think we saw each other every day after that. I don't think I ever knew until we were married and I experienced him working nights that I knew how much sleep he lost during those days! After over two years I still can't believe this has happened. It never ceases to amaze me how much my Father in Heaven has blessed me the last few years. We feel so blessed to be together and we have a great family. I hope we never forget the reasons we fell in love.

The Kids!

2008-08-24T22:52:00.000-06:00

I thought I'd do a little blog about each of the kids. I'll start with the youngest and move to the oldest! It may take me a while to get to them all so be patient!!! By the way have you ever tried to get 11 people to not only look at the camera but smile (a really good smile) all at the same time?! Nearly impossible. This was taken just over a year ago,the day before we were married at the Temple for Barry's brother Todd and Suzy's wedding.

The Wedding!

2008-08-20T22:10:00.000-06:00

Ok, Ok, I know this is old news, afterall we have been married for 13 months tomorrow, but it is one of the best days of my life, and since this is my blog spot after all, I get to post what I want!

Barry is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It still amazes me everyday that he is my husband and that out of all the people in the world he could chose, he loves me!!! It was so amazing to kneel across from him and commit my heart and soul to him forever and ever! He makes me feel beautiful and worthy, smart and valued, loved and appreciated. He takes care of me and my children in every way and never makes me feel guilty about it. What would I do without him? I love you Barry!

In the Beginning...

2008-07-27T22:53:00.000-06:00

In following in the tradition of fellow family members we decided to create this blog. Our purpose is not only to brag about each and every one of our nine children but also to allow others to catch a small glimpse of the paradise that we call everyday life.