Friday, October 17, 2008

Parenthood

So I have wanted to be a parent for as long as I can remember. I can remember being 5 or 6 years old and wanting to hold the babies at church. I pretended to be a mom and played with dolls long after most girls my age had given them up. I imagined what it would be like to be a mother and hold my very own baby. After spending a year in New York as a nanny to three sweet little boys I was sure I knew what being a mom was all about. Boy was I wrong! Don't get me wrong I love being a mother, it is in fact a great joy in my life (right under being a wife!) The thing is being a parent is much different then I imagined it being. Better in many ways but still different. It seems like each day something happens that in all my imagination I could not have thought of. Little things like my 4 year old telling me she would like another "dump" of cereal. "I already had 2 dumps", she said, "can I have 3?" I am sure you can imagine what I thought she was referring to, luckily I realized before too long that she was simply asking me to pour her some more cereal from the bag. Kids do say the darndest things. My sisters 4 year old asked her the other day if she could go to her friends house for "a couple of laters". These moments are some of the great parts of parenting, in any given ordinary day you get to remember to laugh, which is a great help in life. Another thing I never imagined about parenting is anything much beyond babyhood. My children are growing and changing and certainly have minds of their own and guess what - I can't control what they think or do! Believe me if you are not a parent yet this will come as a surprise several times in your future. Sometimes they act crazy in public, do things that were not learned by example, and even embarrass you. This week Ammon (9 years old) decided at the dentists office that he was not going to cooperate. For whatever reason he discovered in his mind it would not be worth it for him to lie still and open his mouth. He only needed a few cavities fixed to have his teeth cleaned but he absouloutly refused to listen. Because of this he will be going to the surgery center this morning and having his dental work done under general anesthesia. I have several thoughts on this. First I am a nurse so I am aware that anesthesia carries some risks I am also aware that it is quite safe. Second I was embarassed by my sons behavior and wanted to force him to behave. There are third and fourth thoughts but sufficite to say I am not thrilled by the events of today. Hopefully all will go well and he will realize that all in all it would be worth it to just cooperate with the dentist next time. Instead of an hour or so of uncomfortableness at the dentist office he gets: fasting since last night (not his favorite thing), an IV today (even less of a good idea in his mind), several hours at the surgery center, and last but not least he knows I am less then thrilled with his behavior. What does all this mean? Simply that once again I feel at a loss as a parent, what is the best thing for me to do? How are you supposed to react to your children? It's a good thing that you love them! Anyone have any suggestions?

2 comments:

Carmell said...

No suggestions, just empathy! Sweet, usually cooperative Emily did that very same thing once when I took her to the dentist when she was about nine too. They just made me leave with her and bring her back another day. I was SO embarrassed, and SO mad! Somehow I must have conveyed that to her because when I did bring her back she cooperated better. I guess I should just get used to the fact that my kids are not always going to be easy and predictable!

Suzy & Todd said...

You are a wonderful mom, kids are crazy. Thats all there is to it.